What to muse about today?

November 18, 2012

20121118-195227.jpgThis little girl has no idea how much I love her.  After today, especially.  We had a pretty good morning, nap, play date with a little friend, crunchy peanut butter and apple jam sandwich, goldfish and then another nap!  Yay for nap time!

She ended up taking a second nap today, the first was maybe 40 minutes, but she was upstairs for about an hour and a half, most of the non sleep time, singing.  The second time, there was much less singing and a bit more sleeping, maybe an hour’s worth.  She woke up, and we heard a thump.  Then some tipy-toe feet and then a bit of crying.  I went to get her, and found her looking very upset and embarrassed, sitting in the middle of a huge mess.  She had had an accident in her sleep, and tried to put on a new pair of underwear, and then, when that didn’t work, a pull-up.  Without actually taking off her pants and underwear.

I couldn’t believe how much of a mess she had made.  It was like there was poop everywhere, her pillow, the bed frame, her new crocheted blanket, the floor.  Oh, god.  The carpet.

Up to today, she’s not attempted to hide or clean up her accidents, though she’s always deeply upset by them.  To be fair, she’s not really had that many of them.  Most times, it’s just pee, and even then, only really at nap time, since she’s not really ready to go overnight yet.

Anyway, I got her into the bath tub and peeled all four layers of clothes off.  She kept asking me to not be upset.  I told her, repeated, that I wasn’t upset, but that we did need to get her cleaned up.  I told her that it was an accident.  We don’t get mad over accidents.  I did say that I wish she had called us up before she tried to fix it, to take care of it.  That she had made a bit of a mess that there might not have been, if there was someone helping her.  That it’s ok to ask for help, that sometimes everyone needs help.

All of her bedding is in the machine, with the crochet blanket waiting for the next round.  Fingers crossed that it comes through a wash ok.  I think that’s was I was most upset about.  That she got poop her the blanket I crocheted for her.  The carpet?  Well, somehow we can get that cleaned up – I think I got most of it cleaned up.

One good thing did come out of this, she actually enjoyed the shower after much protesting.  I explained that the handheld shower would be the best thing instead of a bath for this clean up.  She’s asked to take a shower this week instead of a bath.  She’s getting so big.


October 26, 2011

Galactagogues. Are. Fantastic.

I’ve been taking Fenugreek for about a week and a half now.  And really since Thursday at the maximum daily dosage, a dosage that the Lactation Consultant recommended.  Before I upped the dose, I did see an increase in pumping output, but not like what I saw after a few days on the higher dose.

Today I didn’t get to take any Fenugreek, (crazy morning!), and totally saw the difference.  Almost a 100ml (3.3oz) difference.  That’s a full bottle that I wasn’t able to pump today for Ashlin.

Today, she took 420ml (14oz).  Downed it.  I sent in an additional 60ml (2oz), because the care givers said that she would seem hungry after finishing her bottles.  I had been sending in 360ml (12oz) for the past few weeks, up from the 270ml that she’d worked herself up to, once she started taking bottles.

It’s awesome that she’s taking all that – and more!  I just need to keep up.  It seems that without the galactagogue, I can’t.  The LC also recommended an herbal tea, that will compliment the Fenugreek, but I haven’t had a chance to get it yet.

Hopefully it will help me to keep up, even better, for as long as she needs me to.


May 18, 2011

Two years ago today I was in the hospital, being “ripened,” waiting to be induced.  It was not how either Stu nor I planned the day.  We had gone to the doctor’s appointment on the way to work.  We both had meetings.  There was no hospital bag in the car.  So, of course, I was sent from the doctor’s office to the hospital.

They were worried about my fluid level.  The baby was doing ok, but couldn’t stay in any longer.

I spent Monday afternoon and night contracting, not really feeling any of it.  Progression was slow and boring.  Being in the hospital alone sucked.  Waiting sucked.  Anticipation sucked.

After a quick peek through the blog archives, it seems that I never wrote up Teagan’s birth story.  Or, I haven’t found the blog entry yet.  I do know that Stu sent me his version, and I thought I had written mine up, I’ll keep looking.

I can say that she didn’t want to come, she fought to stay in all day. They didn’t move me down to L&D until 10am or so the following morning.  There was intervention after intervention – more than I wanted.  Ripening, pitocin, foley balloon, water broken, more pitocin, Nubain. My parents calling (really!) to see how I was doing. I hadn’t wanted an epidural, I ended up getting one. I was so tired by the time it was time to push I didn’t think I could. I remember that I wanted to push but they told me I couldn’t. Once they let me, I ended up pushing her out in 45 minutes. The cord was around her neck – bent her ear back, and it stayed like that for a few weeks.

She was a girl!  Born to “High and Dry” by Radiohead.  She came out a bit blue and didn’t pink up quickly. Her apgars weren’t too good – I think a 6 and then an 8? But she was ok. I was so tired once she was out, I thought I would drop her after they bundled her up and gave her to me. I had Stu take her from me.

It all ended up being worth it. I’m so glad our beautiful princess is here. She really is a joy (as long as she’s not tired!).  The way she sees, learns, the world is awesome.  I love her to bits.

Two Years Ago Tomorrow

Two Years Ago Tomorrow

Mother's Day 2011



April 15, 2011

Today was my two week post-op check.  I was a little worried about it, my mind seemed to race through images of incurable infection, of guts falling out at every sneeze, and of never driving again.  It was hard not to.  Sometimes Dr. Google is not your friend.

I needn’t have worried.  My incision looked good, it’s healing nicely.  The pins and needles feeling that I have from my belly button down is normal – like I read – and will go away.  It may take up to six months, but the small nerves that were cut will regenerate.  Just about half the steri-strips had fallen off on their own, and he removed the rest.  The doctor said I should have a very small and thin scar.

He told me that the fibroid that he removed was the size of a plum.  His hands were just about the size of a baseball, but he said plum.  It was why the baby stayed so high, never descended, and kept turning breech.  If I had tried to deliver her naturally – if there weren’t any medical reasons for having the section – I would not have been able to.  She would not have been able to descend into the birth canal, and I would have ended up with an emergency section.  That thought is really scary, but also makes me realize that the birth I had was the one I needed to have, even if it wasn’t the one I wanted to have.

So, anyway, I’m allowed to drive, but not to California.  LOL!  He actually said that!  I can also start doing a bit more, that I won’t injure myself, even if it does hurt.  Stairs will still be draining, but I can do more than two trips a day now.  Twisting will hurt, but it will slowly get better.  I can start exercising if I want, but need to be careful not to over do things.  For example, I could do leg lifts to tighten up my stomach, but only one leg at a time.

So, Stu is sad.  He has to give me back my car.  LOL!


April 13, 2011 ~ Poop!

Poop is Teagan’s newest obsession.  She always says she’s pooped when we ask her if she needs a new diaper.  She hasn’t.  She’s usually just wet.  She calls her sister poop.  Sometimes she’ll actually use her sister’s real name.  She’s always pointing at her diaper pail or the one we have for Ashlin by the pack n play.

She’s fascinated when we change Ashlin’s diaper.  “Poop!”  “Yes, Teagan, your sister pooped.  You poop too, and we change your diaper.”  She then wants to throw the diaper into the pail.  Very sweet.  And helpful.  And then we have to wash her hands.  LOL.

Stu said that this morning she reminded him of the pack of diapers he had left in the car – by yelling “Poop!” as they got out.  When they got into day care she yelled “poop!” at the instructor.  Not because she needed a diaper change, but because they had diapers to give her.  LOL!

Maybe this is coming from being more aware of bodily functions.  Being in day care, she must see all the kids have diaper changes.

Maybe it’s from her earlier obsession with putting everything under her butt – bum!  She still does this, but not with the same frequency.

It’s all about poop now.


April 6, 2011

I’m snoring.    I had started not too long before Ashlin was born.  I totally blame the pregnancy.  I always had the nasal congestion, even in the beginning.  Would wake up and have to blow my nose every morning.  I also thought that maybe it was due to the baby weight and extra pregnancy fluid floating around my body. 

I (and Stu too, I’m sure,) had hoped it would go away once I was no longer pregnant. 

Well, it hasn’t. <sigh>

Maybe it’s because I still have the baby weight on, or because I’m only a week postpartum.  It could be due to the anesthesia – Stu said he had heard of some connection to post-operative snoring.

Last night was the first night I’ve been able to sleep on my left side*.  It was still a bit uncomfortable, not due to my hip, but due to my healing abdominal surgery.  Up until last night, I still had to sleep slightly inclined, on my back.

I still snored.

For the second night in a row, Stu went down stairs in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch.

I want this to stop :(


*  Yay!!  I actually slept on my left hip!  For the first time in months I was able to sleep on my left side.  I think the hip is still not right, but as the Chiro said, it is better without the extra weight in front.


March 31, 2011

Little Bunny Foo Foo

Little Bunny Foo Foo

Today was better than yesterday.  Thank goodness.  I was able to get up with less pain – still a lot of pain – but less.  I had the second IV removed – no more IV’s now.  Freedom!!

The bruises by her eye, that we thought would look horrible by today, didn’t appear.  So lucky.  She still has an indentation from the forceps, but that will go away soon enough.  Her face is already looking much much better.

We finally figured out who this little girl is!  Woo Woo!!  I don’t know if I’ll tell.  Eh, of course I will!!  Her name is Ashlin Cerys (keh-ris), it means a dream or a vision of love.  First name is Gaelic, second is Welsh.  We had quite a debate on spelling.  Do we go traditional (Aislin) or do we use an Anglicized version.  We went with the Anglicized version, it will be easier on her as she grows up.

This name truly fits her.  After all the issues we had getting her here, up to and including her birth, she is a vision of love.  Although the other names we had would have worked, they wouldn’t have suited her nearly as much.  I’m glad we took the time to give her a deeply appropriate name.

Today’s OB visit was interesting.  They each give me a bit more information about the section.  Today, found out that often, in situations like mine, a woman could use lose* her uterus.  Oh!  It may have been an episode of ER.  LOL.  They are very concerned about postpartum depression.  It is usually  more prevalent with second pregnancies, with c-sections, with traumatic procedures.  Again, I have the trifecta.

I do know that right now, it’s just the “baby blues.”  Those lovely hormonal swings that you get, that you can’t control.  As the pregnancy hormones leave your system, they get better.  With Teagan, it took about 3 weeks, honestly, to not cry at a Hallmark commercial, or a sweet moment.  It’s when those baby blues don’t go away, when they get stronger, that you need to worry.  There are lots of medications you can get to help, and the OB’s will help.  Pediatricians will help.

We’ll just keep an eye out.  Shall we?

* Thanks Stu!  LOL!

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March 30, 2011

Day 1 postpartum.  I’ve gotten out of bed (yay!) and had my catheter taken out.  I’m wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not, as now I have to get out of bed.  I wasn’t scared to use the bathroom, but to get up.  To actually feel cut in half when I tried to go from lying to standing.  It wasn’t pleasant, but it also wasn’t horrible.  I was amazed at how stiff and achy I was.  I got up and used the bathroom within the “required” time.  Yay me.  Now, to get the IV’s out.

I found out today that the low-lying vessels that they found (looked for actually) at the last ultrasound are called vasa previa.   I’m glad that I didn’t know about this before, but now it makes sense why they didn’t want me to labor, but had me schedule my “elective” c-section.  It’s why I ended up loosing 4x as much blood during the procedure as normal.  It wasn’t due to the fibroid, it was the vasa previa.  Nice.

One bright spot in the day (other than getting tubes taken out) was that Teagan came to the hospital to meet her little sister.  It went pretty well.  Teagan may have realized that the baby LaLa was holding was the baby she was kissing a few days earlier.  The one inside mama.  I’m not sure if it will really hit her until we get home.  Right now, it’s sort of an “out of sight, out of mind” situation.  I think it will be ok, Teagan is a sweet and loving girl.  Her heart should just grow a little larger to share a bit more love.

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March 29, 2011

Baby Girl!
Born at 11:52am
Weight: 7 lbs 11 oz
Height: 19.25 inches
Head Circumference:  14.25 inches

So, she was born this morning! The labor /delivery nurse was the same person as when I labored for Teagan, as well as when I was sent to L&D a few weeks ago.  Nice.  I actually enjoyed her much more when she wasn’t pushing any pitocin

The procedure wasn’t fun, but it’s over now.  The anesthesiologist was very nice, and talked me through all the different bits.  The doctors ended up needing to use forceps on her to get her out.  She wasn’t engaged (it is early)  and they couldn’t get a grip on her to get her out.  Stu said they were “in up to their elbows” trying to get her.  I asked if she was jammed up into my ribs so as to not get out.  LOL.  There was also a large fibroid in the way.  Her eye got a bit bruised, but should be just fine in a few days .  We were told to expect it to look bad tomorrow.  You could see it worsening as the day progressed.

She ended up being 7 lbs 11 oz.  Not too big, just about what they estimated her last week.  She looks simply tiny.  She ended up having some breathing issues – a bit raspy, due to the c-section not squashing her respiratory track like a vaginal birth does.  So, they let me see her, give her a kiss or two and then whisked her away to newborn care – not NICU.

You can see mark from the forceps on her eye.

Turns out that it was a good thing I didn’t birth vaginally,  even though she wasn’t anywhere near as big as they thought she’d be.  I may have something to be grateful for in that damn placenta/overlying vessels.  That large fibroid down near the cervix, would have made it impossible for her to fit out.  The Doctor ended up needing to remove it, and I ended up with four bags of blood, two bags of plasma.  I lost track of how many bags of saline and “stuff” they pushed into me.  I think the process (which started early) lasted about an hour longer than they said it would, thanks to the complications.

While they were getting the fibroid out, and then sewing up layer after layer of me, I got the shakes very badly.  So the anesthesiologist gave me a Behr hug heated blanket over my arms that helped a bit.  I then got another one back in recovery.  Ended up staying in recovery for about 2 hours.

They ended up keeping her until about 9pm (where’s my baby!?!) because her glucose level kept dropping.  She got about 60ml of formula, a bunch of glucose.  Her level would be good, then bad.  Stu went to go see her while I stayed in recovery.  He brought me back pictures of her.  She has a lot of black hair!  OMG!  I got to see her and hold her around 4pm.  Too long of a wait.

First time being held by mama

We ended up cycling my parents and sister through the newborn room to see her and then up to visit with me.  They sort of forgave us for not calling earlier once they found out that I’d only seen her for about 10 minutes.

They finally released her to us around 9pm, after I went down stairs in the wheelchair.  Yes, I got up!  The nurses helped get me out of bed and settled in the chair.  I didn’t push them to go, they actually said I needed to get up anyway.  It hurt a lot but I really wanted to see and hold my baby.  When we got down there, they said they were just about to send her up.  Sometimes it’s the squeaky wheel.

It felt so good to hold her.  It took about 10 hours,  but she’s finally up with us.

Now, to figure out who she is.  LOL!


March 10, 2011 ~ The Karate Kid

The Karate Kid

Image via Wikipedia

Today, while grabbing screenshots for a PowerPoint for work – Yes, PowerPoint.  Snag-It is my friend – I watched the Karate Kid.  No, not the one with Ralph, but the one with Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan, and is about learning Kung  Fu not Karate.  It was ok, not bad.  I kept thinking the kids were just too young.  Maybe Ralph played the same age kid, but just looked older – wasn’t he 30 when he did the movie?  LOL.

Anwway, it made me cry.  I’m going to blame it on hormones though. The commercial for U-Verse (it’s not overdone, it’s a job well done! ) also makes me cry.  I suppose if I thought about it, I get misty for the cheese commercials too.  Behold the power of cheese.

I don’t remember the hormones making me this emotional last time.  At least not while still pregnant.  Maybe they did…  I do remember getting angry easily enough… Postpartum, that’s a completely different story.