What to muse about today?

November 24, 2014 ~ Broken Drill

Driving home from pre-school Ashlin told me she had a secret.  A secret she’d tell me at home, and then tell dada, and then Teagan and then mama.  Ok.  You can totally tell me your secret twice.  She admitted that it really wasn’t a secret, she just wanted to say it was, she just wanted to have a secret.  Silly girl.

Once we were home, she told us about her secret – that they had a Broken Drill – or something along those lines – in case of an emergency – at school today.  She said that all the kids in class as well as the teacher and the para go and sit crisscross applesauce in the bathroom and be quiet.  According to her, it was kinda fun, because her teacher let them watch Bubble Guppies on her phone.  Ashlin and her sister don’t get to watch that show often at home.  When I asked how long the drill was, she told me it was 40 minutes.  That seemed a bit long for a drill, when I asked if she got to see all the show, she said no, just a little bit.

We were still talking about this when Teagan got home.  Teagan had a fire drill today, even with the rain.  She told me that for fire drills they go outside, for work drills they sit on the carpet. But for broken drills they go in to a closet.  The kindergartners don’t get to sit, they kneel.  There are just too many kindergartners to sit in the closet or hide in the bathroom.

So sad that both my three-year-old and five-year-old know how to hide in place.  Crazy that both of them were so blasé about the whole thing, but they don’t know how the world has changed.  What they’ve lost.  Well, what we’ve lost, they don’t really know.  To them, normal is hiding in a closet or a bathroom watching Bubble Guppies on a phone.

I wish the world wasn’t this way.  That they can be the silly little girls they are.



February 15, 2014 ~ Pre-Snow Painting

Teagan didn’t have dance class today, so I took both girls to Michael’s for a crafty activity.  Ashlin had asked after her outing last week to go again.  Teagan, well, she likes doing crafts, and keeping her busy always helps.

This time was very different than last weekend.  Ashlin was barely anxious, scared.  Teagan must have given her courage, or maybe knowing the room, what to expect.  She dropped her hat, mittens, scarf and coat on the floor and scurried over to pick out a pair of scissors.

I cut it?

Ashlin was much better with scissors this week than last, though she still needed a lot of help.  That’s ok.  She’s not quite three. Teagan rocked scissors, though she did need a little help with the bumpy bit at the top of the heart.  She got halfway done with cutting while I picked up the coats and hats and stuff.

The worker modified the craft a little, I guess the watercolor painting wasn’t a great idea…  Both girls tended towards the black and dark colors today.  “Our parents like black.  We need to use black” the worker said when I picked them up.  LOL.

So, the crayons came out.  There’s still some black, but not like the watercolors the girls did, and I got to take home.

I also got to take home these awesome hearts!

Ashlin’s Heart

Teagan’s Heart


June 7, 2013

2013 06 bouncy castle

Always with the tongue out

Last weekend was very busy and lots of fun!  A party on Saturday followed by Sunday afternoon at an amusement park.  Ashlin, our little peanut, had a big weekend, too.  Especially for her.

Saturday, she came to the party too, and finally overcame her fear of the bounce house.  Well, as long as there weren’t too many big kids and I went in with her.  With me sitting inside, her courage grew and grew.  She had so much fun that she didn’t want to get out.

The lure of cake (it’s still Happy Guthrie cake, hah!) finally convinced her though.

2013 06 bouncy castle

mmmmm… cake

Without thinking, Stu and I put them in a chair together.  Oops.  We put them in on the wrong sides, they were banging elbows and just generally getting in each other’s way

2013 06 bouncy castle

Wrong side

It was better once we switched them around.

2013 06 bouncy castle


After the cake, Ashlin went back in the bouncy castle, and had more fun.  It was almost like watching her grow as she bounced.  At least her personality.

Sunday was amusement park day.  Ashlin was game for everything – the motorcycles (more please), the flying elephants (more!), the swings (again!), carousel (bunny, again?), balloon ride (all done), pirate ship (whatever), and caterpillar train (more!).  The only thing that really scared her was the pirate show.  I was really proud of how well she did on all the rides.  There was only one that she didn’t want to go on again, the balloon one, and that may have been because she was sitting across from Stu instead of next to him.

The pirate ship she was just a few inches too short, but they let her ride with her big sister.  And Teagan was very protective of her.  Teagan was amazing too, she had no fear at all.  Teagan wanted to go on everything, no second thoughts.  The pirate ship that scared her so much they had to stop the ride last year was old hat for her.  She sat on every seat of that ride – inside, middle and end.  The roller coaster, that she only did once last year, she got off and ran to get back on line to go again.




Hands up!


Flying Elephants


Drum love

Such a good weekend, so much fun!


June 30, 2012


Today was Teagan’s first swim lesson.  Ashlin’s too!  I ended up going in with Ashlin, but before I did, I got to take a few pictures of Teagan and Stu.

Teagan, our penguin at bath time,  was very unsure, unwilling to go in the pool, once we got there.  I don’t think she realized that she’d be going in alone, without one of us holding her.  Stu stayed with her, slowly encouraging her to get closer and closer to the water, to get her feet in, to kick along with the rest of the class.  Eventually, she went in, and went whole hog!  There was green light/red light kicking!  There was backstroke!  There was splashy ball!  The other kids needed a three count, Teagan jumped in at the count of one.  She went half the length of the pool and back in the back stroke, kicking better than any one else.  I wish I had seen it.  Stu said she did really well, once she got over her initial reluctance.


Ashlin, well, didn’t do quite so well.  Class was just about nap time, and we were out late last night for the fireworks.  She was very fussy.  She cried almost the entire time in the pool.  I did not let her get out, I’m such a mean mommy.  There were some times she was happy, or less unhappy I should say.  There was singing.  She liked that.  We sang modified versions of “If You’re Happy And You Know It” and “The Wheels On The Bus.” She was perplexed by the word changes, but happy for the songs.  I couldn’t turn her so she could look out, she just wanted to snuggle in, hugging.  I would move in to the group when she quieted, and move away as she geared up crying.  Towards the end of the class, I sat her on the gutter, counted one-two-three and she lent forward, not quite diving towards me.  Quick spin around with extra happy voice and I put her down again.  She did it again.  And again.

Both girls napped at least two and a half hours after swim class.

Next week, we’re going to try to nap her before we go.  Hopefully being more rested will work better for her.

I’m looking forward to watching both of them in the pool.  I really can’t believe how big Teagan is getting.  How grown up.


June 22, 2012

It loud!

Teagan has decided that she does not like thunder now. At least not loud thunder. She didn’t used to be, but I guess she grew into it.

It was a bit rumbly as Teagan was eating dinner, and Stu was keeping her company, drawing. I had just gotten Ashlin down and came into their conversation about positive ground and negatively charged clouds and that’s what made all the ruckus. I shouted something about drums, but I’m not sure if it helped or not. Now that she knew how it happened, she really wasn’t sure she felt better about it.

There was  clash of thunder, and Teagan said she didn’t like it, that it was too loud.  Stu, trying to rationalize, said that it wasn’t that loud.  Of course, Teagan insisted it was, and was scary. Stu said that sometimes she was loud, but she wasn’t scary.  That helped a little.  Maybe.

I sat downstairs as they went on with the nightly routine. She was on the potty, feet on the stool, when a there was a huge clap of thunder, one that rattled the windows and shook the house. She jumped off and ran to her bed. She was past Stu before he could blink, wide eyed and shaking in her bed. He’s never seen her move so fast, mumbling something about a particle accelerator as he told me about it later. To be fair, it was a very loud and long peal of thunder, and even I jumped a bit downstairs.

stu talked her into going back to finish, but she would not be talked into brushing her teeth. she wanted to be in her room, in her bed.

stu got her into pj’s and said that her brobee doll was probably scared too, and she needed to be brave for him. she agreed.

he then asked if she wanted to be rocked. she did. he started singing one of her favorites “Rain rain.” she stopped him, “no, dada. not that song.” They then sang are you sleeping and started another, but before they got halfway, she asked to go to bed.  Stu tucked her in and told her that we’d all be safe in the morning.



September 13, 2011

I has a bow!

Teagan asked for a bow again this morning.  This time, I was ready.  Not like yesterday when she just melted into tears when I tried to put at least one pony tail (not piggy tails!) in her hair to keep it out of her eyes.

This time, I told her that bows were a two step process, one pony tail to prep the hair, and then the bow.  The bow wouldn’t stay without the pony tail.  This way she left with her hair out of her eyes for at least some of the day.

She loved it.  So excited.  Kept telling Stu that she had a bow, trying to touch it.

She didn’t come home with it.  I really didn’t expect her to.


Last night I checked the stats on the blog.  I do like seeing the visitor counter go up and up.  When I did, I saw some disturbing search terms used to hit the blog.  “Little girl pee herself” was the one that bothered me the most.  Did some sick person find pictures of Teagan?  Is he doing something that will make me shudder thinking about?

I am bothered by “little girls cute face,” as I’m sure that could be from someone just as distasteful as the other search term.  Somehow, it doesn’t have the extreme creep factor of someone looking for a little girl that wet her pants.

Up till yesterday, I never really worried about the pictures I posted, the links I shared, the stories I recounted.  I don’t know if I need to change privacy settings or not.  I do think I will double guess each picture I do upload, each story I share.

I really had hoped that the extreme creepiness that exists would leave me alone, let me play in my corner of the pool without splashing back.  I always did have rose-colored glasses.

I’m just not sure what to do right now.


September 12, 2011

On a Carousel

Yesterday, we had a much more pleasant toddler.  We took her to the fair.  It was fun!  She had fun!  She had her first ever carousel ride.  I put her on the horse – “the white one mama!” and she had fun sitting on it, but then something spooked her, and she wanted down.  It didn’t matter that I told her that I would be holding her the entire time. The horse was high.  This was her first time, she was a bit scared.  Down, mama.  Now, mama.

I was a bit sad that she was scared.  I want her to become a brave, strong woman.  One who’s not scared of a carousel ride.  Or of very little else.  How do you teach bravery?

Hiding my disappointment – hopefully enough! – I quickly suggested the nearby bench.  That was ok, Sort of. It wasn’t as high.  She was definitely not sure if she wanted to ride at all, even though her friend was giggling and bouncing up and down with excitement.  He’s done this before.  She hasn’t.

She had a momentary look of panic in her eyes as the ride started up.  The first few times around, she was very uneasy, unsure if she wanted to be there.  Each time around, I would point out dada, who was on the side with Ashlin, and prompt her to wave.  Eventually, she started looking for him, waving, all on her own.  Before she knew it, she was enjoying it, and having fun!

Baby you can drive my car!

After her eventual success on the carousel, she was a bit braver.  She wanted to go on everything!  Even the rides that were way too big and fast for her.  Her friend, G, wanted to go on this car ride, so she wanted to go too.  He may have been the source of some of her bravery.  That’s ok.  Maybe that’s how you learn how to be brave, you watch your friends.

We let them into the ride.  She wanted the “red one, dada.”  Help get her in, hooked the belt.  Told her to stay sitting until we came back for her.  And off she went.  All by herself.  My big girl.  I was so proud of her for being so big and brave, and then sad she was growing up.  So fast.  She cried when the ride was over, she was having so much fun.

Driving Miss T

She ended up going into the bouncy castle and then on a Caterpillar – Look! Buggy! – ride.  She did not enjoy the caterpillar one as much as the cars.  It was a bit more jerky and a bit faster too.

She wanted to do the car ride again, before her friend had to leave.  Since she had so much fun the first time, how could we say no?  Some kid had taken the red car, so they shared a blue jeep.  G drive.  She loved it.  She waved.

We have to try a carousel again.  Soon.  Maybe this time, she’ll be brave.  All on her own.

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August 25, 2011

I went to the dentist today.  Finally.  I’d been putting off finding a new (local) dentist.  And then I got pregnant, and just really didn’t want to deal with it, along with everything else.  And the blood thinners.  As nice as the former dentist was, I really didn’t want to sit in the car for a longish drive for a cleaning.  It would give me too much time to think about actually being at the dentist, and that is not necessarily a good thing.  (Although, I’d almost always be guaranteed a great lunch companion afterwards as a reward).  So, I wanted to find someone local. Until last week (I think) I hadn’t really been too concerned about it.  (Yes, we had been paying for twice yearly cleanings that we haven’t done.  I know, I know!)

Last week changed things.  Playing with Teagan, she knocked her hard little head into my jaw, and I was worried that I had chipped a tooth or broken a filling.  I couldn’t put it off much longer.

So, I finally get my act together and ask around, do a little googling.  A little more than closing my eyes and pointing at a name in the phone book.

Today was my appointment.  It went pretty well, actually.  I didn’t have the Ren & Stimpy root beaver nightmare, or the Little Shop Of Horrors scene go through my head.  I was relatively calm and not too anxious about the appointment.  Yay me!  I’m not over my fear, but it was something that wasn’t too bad.  Today anyway.

I had chipped a filling, two actually.  Top and bottom teeth, one right above the other.  The x-rays showed that there wasn’t any decay or other damage, so we’ll be able to just laser the surface a little and patch it.  Which sounds awesome to me.  Gums were also pretty good, considering that it’s been just over a year since my last cleaning.  No new cavities!  Double Yay!  And the crown is doing just fine.

The filling repair is early next week.  I’m not sure I’ll be as laisse-faire about this.  I may need the Valium the former dentist prescribed :)


LOL!  Shut the front door!  They said “sheep dip” on the Mentalist tonight instead of saying something more rude.  Sheep dip!  What a Hoboken!


August 3, 2011

OMG!  They’re remaking the movie that terrified me as a kid.  The movie that haunted me, that gave me nightmares well into my 20’s, and also my 30’s, if i’m brutally honest.

It also started my need to watch other horror  movies, to see as many as I could.  Home, alone.  To read them.  To be stronger than I felt.  To not be scared.

This movie that had me jumping at shadows.  The movie that had me sleeping with my hands (and feet) under the covers for years.  You know.  If your hands are even the tiniest bit exposed from under the protection of the blanket, they get you.  If the sheets aren’t tight, they could get in.  I thought they would come get me.  And drag me into the fireplace.

I still don’t like loose sheets.  They need to be nice and tight and tucked in.  No drafts.  No way for little demonic creatures to get in.

I never remembered the name of this movie, I don’t think I ever knew it.  The scene that haunted me the most was the bathroom scene.  By the vicious little creatures attacking the wife, with a razor, using pin-like things as swords.  They were definitely not the Borrowers.

Disembodied voices calling out, from seemingly everywhere and nowhere.  Voices that make you look over your shoulder as you sit in a room.

I’m not sure if I’m happy they’re doing a remake, or terrified.  But because of the trailer I saw last night, I now know what the movie is called.  It’s called Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark.

Although I didn’t know it, it was a made for TV movie.  It always seemed to be on TV growing up – the ABC evening movie on Saturdays, (or was it Sundays?) and sometimes the afternoon matinee.  I know at least one babysitter let me watch it.  Once, I snuck down and watched TV late at night after the rest of the house was asleep, and this movie was on.  (This was when we actually had a TV).  Watching this movie was a regret.  Almost every single time.  Still.  I couldn’t get enough of it.  That and some movie with a voodoo doll.

I don’t know if I’ll go see the remake.  It may not be a good idea.  To be fair, it looks like Guellermo del Toro has made it super creepy, even if he changed it a bit.  But he got the voice right.

For years, I didn’t live in a house with a fireplace.

This house has a fireplace.


July 2, 2011

We went to see some fireworks last night.  Started the evening with a picnic dinner on the grass.  Teagan really enjoyed it, she got to triple and quadruple dip her carrots in the veggie dip.  Stu and I decided that it was her dip.  LOL!

There was music too, and Teagan just couldn’t sit still.  She wanted to dance!  It was hard to get her to slow down enough to eat dinner.

She had a blast listening to the Military band play march songs.  They even played Menomena!  After the band was over, there was a DJ before.

She was so tired by the time the DJ came on (she didn’t nap at day care, but fell asleep in the car on the way over, so we waited about 30 minutes before heading out to let her sleep!) that she was down to a polite golf clap:

I wish the fireworks had started earlier, she was so tired.  At first she was scared.  “No dada!” for the first blast.  “All dun!” along with a frantic sign for emphasis at the second boom.  But at the third one, “Twinkle stars!!”

She loved them!  “Boom boom boom!”

“Bang bang!”


Honey, I wish I could make them shoot off some more.  Maybe tomorrow.

Ashlin was awake (!) for quite a bit.  She fell asleep before the fireworks started, woke up during them and cried a bit for the last few launches.  Sleep returned as soon as the booms stopped.

Getting Sleepy

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