What to muse about today?

May 13, 2011

Happy Friday the 13th!!

This morning I had my last post-partum check-up and the doctor declared me “cured of pregnancy.”  LOL!  He actually said that.  Cured.  Muahahaha!  I have all the symptoms and complications at home, sleeping right now in her papasan lamb.  Anyway.  Scar will fade, the pins and needles feeling between scar and belly button will go away over time.  I don’t need to worry about the other fibroids, but they will be monitored.  Restrictions are lifted – I can lift weight, exercise, whatever.  Shots are done!  Woo woo!!  I don’t need to go back for a year.

He also asked how the recovery was, compared to a vaginal birth.  If I liked one more than the other.  Well.  They’re different.   One feels like a natural process while the other is major surgery.  I do think the c-section is a harder recovery, but it was also complicated for me with having a toddler at home.  If I had done them in the reverse order I may have a different opinion.

I can now say that after two pregnancies, I do not have any stretch marks.  Yay me!

As was my routine after doctors visits while pregnant, I walked next door to the bakery to get a chocolate croissant.  They didn’t have any.  Sniff.  Boo.  I had to get a plain one.  This may have been a good thing, actually, as I only got one, and not two decadent and delicious chocolate croissants.  I really don’t need all those calories, even though I am breastfeeding.  I still have nine pounds to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

The afternoon I met up with the mom who has a daughter three days older than Ashlin for a walk on the beach again.  I dressed Ashlin up in my favorite outfit from Teagan but couldn’t find the matching socks.  Oh well.  I also forgot the floppy sun hat.  It didn’t matter much.  It was overcast and grey.  And a little chilly.   I quickly put a jacket and plain socks on her.  Didn’t even bother to take a picture.  The outfit will be washed soon and I’ll get one then.  When the rain started, we decided to leave.  Not as enjoyable a day for a walk as last time, but the company was as good!  Hopefully next time the weather will cooperate.


April 15, 2011

Today was my two week post-op check.  I was a little worried about it, my mind seemed to race through images of incurable infection, of guts falling out at every sneeze, and of never driving again.  It was hard not to.  Sometimes Dr. Google is not your friend.

I needn’t have worried.  My incision looked good, it’s healing nicely.  The pins and needles feeling that I have from my belly button down is normal – like I read – and will go away.  It may take up to six months, but the small nerves that were cut will regenerate.  Just about half the steri-strips had fallen off on their own, and he removed the rest.  The doctor said I should have a very small and thin scar.

He told me that the fibroid that he removed was the size of a plum.  His hands were just about the size of a baseball, but he said plum.  It was why the baby stayed so high, never descended, and kept turning breech.  If I had tried to deliver her naturally – if there weren’t any medical reasons for having the section – I would not have been able to.  She would not have been able to descend into the birth canal, and I would have ended up with an emergency section.  That thought is really scary, but also makes me realize that the birth I had was the one I needed to have, even if it wasn’t the one I wanted to have.

So, anyway, I’m allowed to drive, but not to California.  LOL!  He actually said that!  I can also start doing a bit more, that I won’t injure myself, even if it does hurt.  Stairs will still be draining, but I can do more than two trips a day now.  Twisting will hurt, but it will slowly get better.  I can start exercising if I want, but need to be careful not to over do things.  For example, I could do leg lifts to tighten up my stomach, but only one leg at a time.

So, Stu is sad.  He has to give me back my car.  LOL!


April 13, 2011

It’s been two weeks since Ashlin’s delivery and I’m just shy of 20 lbs down.  Not including any gain from all the fluid they gave me for the section and after.  Oh, and the double ice creams I ate in the hospital for at least two, (if not three), meals a day.  LOL!

I ended up gaining about 7 lbs more with this pregnancy than with Teagan.  A bit more than they wanted – 15-25lbs was recommended.  I ended up gaining 34 lbs.  Oops.  I really did try to not gain that much.  Ate steak over salad for lunch often, apples with peanut butter.  Tried to stay away from pasta, but oh, mac ‘n cheese was lovely.  Cheese was lovely.  Frozen pizza was a lifesaver.  Too often.

All in all, I tried to eat well, but circumstances sometimes didn’t help.  But that’s history now.  I have 14 lbs left to lose.  After Teagan’s delivery, it took me 3 weeks to lose this much weight.  So, all in all, not too bad this time.  A total of six months to loose all the pregnancy weight with Teagan.

I know breastfeeding is helping.  And that’s also going better than with Teagan.  Ashlin is latching and feeding much better than her older sister.  Teagan was a bit of a battle for the first month, before she really got the hang of it.  We’re still using a shield, but have gone down one size, and are working on getting rid of it completely.

Because we’re breastfeeding, I know I have to eat, and can’t deprive myself too much.  I need the calories to pass on to Ashlin.  So, it’s not really time to “diet.”  We’ll just see how it goes, eating when I’m hungry, nursing Ashlin on demand.

Hopefully, I’ll loose all the weight this time within six months as well.  By not doing too much, like last time.  Fingers crossed!


April, 7, 2011

Things are going well.  I’m feeling better.  Ashlin is adjusting – and working on a witching hour – between 6 and 7pm.  Teagan is adjusting.  We are adjusting. 

I’m doing better, day by day.  Mobility is slowly coming back.  Incision is still achy, and I’m still taking the painkillers during the day – nighttime is Tylenol.  The area between my belly button and the incision feels all pins and needles, which I guess is a good sign.  A healing sign.  I think it’s a bit weird, and if my swelling isn’t gone tomorrow, I’ll call and mention it.  (I also need to call to thank the doctor and give him a quick heads up on how well I’m doing).  I wish I had a bit more stamina, as by the end of the day I’m exhausted.  A nap would probably help – I haven’t been able to get a nap every day.

I’ve been very lucky to have had my parents stay and help out these past days while I heal and learn how to be a mom to two kids.  But, they’re going home tomorrow.  Stu, thankfully, is working from home tomorrow.  Teagan will be in day care again.  So, I’ll be “on my own” with assistance for the first time.  I’m a little uneasy, but it will be just me and Ashlin, so it shouldn’t be too bad. 

Saturday, will be a different story.

I’m scared of Saturday.


April 6, 2011

I’m snoring.    I had started not too long before Ashlin was born.  I totally blame the pregnancy.  I always had the nasal congestion, even in the beginning.  Would wake up and have to blow my nose every morning.  I also thought that maybe it was due to the baby weight and extra pregnancy fluid floating around my body. 

I (and Stu too, I’m sure,) had hoped it would go away once I was no longer pregnant. 

Well, it hasn’t. <sigh>

Maybe it’s because I still have the baby weight on, or because I’m only a week postpartum.  It could be due to the anesthesia – Stu said he had heard of some connection to post-operative snoring.

Last night was the first night I’ve been able to sleep on my left side*.  It was still a bit uncomfortable, not due to my hip, but due to my healing abdominal surgery.  Up until last night, I still had to sleep slightly inclined, on my back.

I still snored.

For the second night in a row, Stu went down stairs in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch.

I want this to stop :(


*  Yay!!  I actually slept on my left hip!  For the first time in months I was able to sleep on my left side.  I think the hip is still not right, but as the Chiro said, it is better without the extra weight in front.


April 4, 2011

Oh. My. God.  The swelling.  I don’t remember the swelling being this bad with Teagan.  I was GBS positive, so needed an IV and antibiotics with her.  (Let’s not talk about the pitocin).

My feet and ankles have been swollen since I got home three days ago.  They weren’t that bad in the hospital, just a little puffy.  I’m not sure what happened to make them inflate to gigantic proportions.  Does walking out the hospital door trigger something?

They look worse than Fred Flintstone feet.  I’ve been drinking insane amounts of water, keeping them up, walking a bit.  It feels like it’s only getting worse, not better.  I know that I got a lot of IV fluid (4 units blood, 2 units plasma, 1000 units ringers), but this is now ridiculous.

And they HURT.

How much longer until my body decides it doesn’t want all this fluid?  I’d like to fit into shoes again.  Today’s trip to Babies R Us was uncomfortable.  Taking off the shoes was sheer relief.

Done.  All dun!

Then I look at Ashlin, and it was worth it.


April 2, 2011

Home.  We’re home.  Yay.

Busy morning at the hospital.  I had my staples removed around 7:30am.  The same resident who’s been stopping in every morning was still on rounds.  Nice to have the continuity.  She promised that removing the staples did not use a stapler remover like you get at Office Depot.  LOL.  Of course that’s where my mind had dwelled all week.  She also said that they wouldn’t hurt.  She was right.  It wasn’t that bad.  There were one or two that were a bit more twingy than the others – there were about 14 or so – but all in all, not bad.  No numbing or anything, just popped them off gently, somehow.  I didn’t watch.  I didn’t want to know, though I did wonder what they looked like.

She then put steri strips on, while I joked about how I was worried all my guts would just ooze out if I laughed too hard.  She laughed at that.  According to her,  the incision was almost healed – though it has to be new tender skin.  I still need to be careful about moving and stuff, but it was all closed and healing nicely.  Still it’s hard to not worry about having a small hole become larger and then all my guts slip out.  It hurts to much to have that go completely away.

So, Stu drive home, carefully, trying to avoid the pot holes and the sharp turns.  getting out of the car was not fun, but walking into my house was.  Teagan was a bit funny at first, but everyone was crowding her, trying to make sure she was ok.  After a bit, they backed off.  She got better.

I sat with her while she had lunch – steamed veggies with dup dup – dumpling sauce or something.  She wanted more and more dup dup.  LOL.  It was nice getting a kiss and hug from her.  It’s going to be a challenge to not pick her up.

My parents are here, along with my sister.  They’re the distraction for Teagan.  The help I need for getting food and stuff.  I’m not supposed to do the stairs more than once or twice a day.  I need to keep my feet up.  No driving for two weeks.  No bending.  No carrying anything heavier than the baby – 7 lbs .5oz as of this morning.

I don’t have any pictures.  I will update with a picture from mom or sis tomorrow.

I’m going to sleep in my bed.  Heaven.


March 31, 2011

Little Bunny Foo Foo

Little Bunny Foo Foo

Today was better than yesterday.  Thank goodness.  I was able to get up with less pain – still a lot of pain – but less.  I had the second IV removed – no more IV’s now.  Freedom!!

The bruises by her eye, that we thought would look horrible by today, didn’t appear.  So lucky.  She still has an indentation from the forceps, but that will go away soon enough.  Her face is already looking much much better.

We finally figured out who this little girl is!  Woo Woo!!  I don’t know if I’ll tell.  Eh, of course I will!!  Her name is Ashlin Cerys (keh-ris), it means a dream or a vision of love.  First name is Gaelic, second is Welsh.  We had quite a debate on spelling.  Do we go traditional (Aislin) or do we use an Anglicized version.  We went with the Anglicized version, it will be easier on her as she grows up.

This name truly fits her.  After all the issues we had getting her here, up to and including her birth, she is a vision of love.  Although the other names we had would have worked, they wouldn’t have suited her nearly as much.  I’m glad we took the time to give her a deeply appropriate name.

Today’s OB visit was interesting.  They each give me a bit more information about the section.  Today, found out that often, in situations like mine, a woman could use lose* her uterus.  Oh!  It may have been an episode of ER.  LOL.  They are very concerned about postpartum depression.  It is usually  more prevalent with second pregnancies, with c-sections, with traumatic procedures.  Again, I have the trifecta.

I do know that right now, it’s just the “baby blues.”  Those lovely hormonal swings that you get, that you can’t control.  As the pregnancy hormones leave your system, they get better.  With Teagan, it took about 3 weeks, honestly, to not cry at a Hallmark commercial, or a sweet moment.  It’s when those baby blues don’t go away, when they get stronger, that you need to worry.  There are lots of medications you can get to help, and the OB’s will help.  Pediatricians will help.

We’ll just keep an eye out.  Shall we?

* Thanks Stu!  LOL!

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March 30, 2011

Day 1 postpartum.  I’ve gotten out of bed (yay!) and had my catheter taken out.  I’m wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not, as now I have to get out of bed.  I wasn’t scared to use the bathroom, but to get up.  To actually feel cut in half when I tried to go from lying to standing.  It wasn’t pleasant, but it also wasn’t horrible.  I was amazed at how stiff and achy I was.  I got up and used the bathroom within the “required” time.  Yay me.  Now, to get the IV’s out.

I found out today that the low-lying vessels that they found (looked for actually) at the last ultrasound are called vasa previa.   I’m glad that I didn’t know about this before, but now it makes sense why they didn’t want me to labor, but had me schedule my “elective” c-section.  It’s why I ended up loosing 4x as much blood during the procedure as normal.  It wasn’t due to the fibroid, it was the vasa previa.  Nice.

One bright spot in the day (other than getting tubes taken out) was that Teagan came to the hospital to meet her little sister.  It went pretty well.  Teagan may have realized that the baby LaLa was holding was the baby she was kissing a few days earlier.  The one inside mama.  I’m not sure if it will really hit her until we get home.  Right now, it’s sort of an “out of sight, out of mind” situation.  I think it will be ok, Teagan is a sweet and loving girl.  Her heart should just grow a little larger to share a bit more love.

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September 2, 2009

Oh, the post-partum joys.  I’m shedding.  It’s crazy! I can’t believe how much hair I’m losing.  One of the last side effects from the pregnancy, but damn!  I need to clean out the shower drain after every shower and sweep the floor after drying my hair.  Pull hair off the baby.  I know that it’s normal, and that I didn’t lose any hair (or very little) during the pregnancy.  I am not in danger of going bald, just of there being hair balls in the house the size of elephants.

 Ok, enough whining about my hair.

Day care is now a sort of purgatory instead of hell.  I found our piglet a place full time, in a center.  It’s right next to the ped’s office, so more convenient than some of the other places I had gone to.  It’s just, well, so institutional.  Which is as it should be, I guess, it is a center.  I have nothing against it.  For older children.  It seems so sterile for the babies though.

 Anyway, she’s all set up to go there this coming Wednesday.  Single digit countdown.  <sigh>  The day after her next shots.  One day pain, the next, a completely new environment (and torture for me).

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