What to muse about today?

December 17, 2011 ~ Pull Up!


Lookie who started pulling herself up in her crib…

We’re in trouble!


April 1, 2011

Green Eyes

Green Eyes?

No April Fool’s here. We don’t need  any practical jokes.  Thank you very much.

I am almost out, almost home.  Still have one more day, and although each day is better, I don’t feel ready yet.  I have dropped my pain killers down to half a dose, but I am still taking them regularly.  It still hurts to get up.  Don’t get me started on laughing – thank you sis and Stu!

Today was a good day, actually!  Even with the horrible weather outside, Ashlin and I snuggled up and nursed and just got to hang out.  Once the steady stream of people ended, that is.  The people parade started around 5am – vital check, then 6am – incision check by the resident, then the nurse to give me Ashlin to nurse, then some drugs for me and another wound/belly check.  Shift change had the night PCA and nurse come to say good bye, and the new ones do their thing.  There was the Lactation consultant and the Birth Certificate lady.  Housekeeping.  Breakfast showed up after the pediatrician and my OB stopped by.   No one came while someone else was there, but I barely had time to go the bathroom and only started breakfast at 10am.

I had a bit of breathing room by then, and took advantage to go skin to skin with Ashlin.  She’s so snuggly!

While the pediatrician was here – today was the one I met with before transferring to the practice – she mentioned in passing that we would need to have to have an ultrasound done on Ashlin’s hips.  (I love how all this stuff is just casually mentioned, in passing, like they are no big deal.  Everything lately has sort of been a big deal.  I’d like to not have any more thank you).  Anyway, we need the scan because Ashlin was breech for as long as she was (even though she turned.  Twice).  The risk is for developmental hip dysplasia.  It will most likely be nothing, but it’s something that they check for every breech and transverse baby.  The Pediatrician said that her colleagues hadn’t noticed anything to be concerned about, nor did she.  I asked if the click I hear every now and then when I change Ashlin’s diaper is a symptom.  She can’t confirm nor deny, as she hasn’t heard the click,

I’m sure that everything will be ok.  If it wasn’t, the one of the pediatricians would have said something.  Given some warning.


PS.  All caught up!!  Woo woo!


March 31, 2011 ~ Feeding tube :(

Feeding Tube

Feeding Tube

I found out that Ashlin was indeed in the NICU.  There are four rooms, of increasing levels of severity.  She was in the first room.  The “safest” room.  They put her under the heat lamp and put a small feeding tube in.  I’m not sure why it’s in her mouth and not her nose.  Maybe because they knew it would be very temporary?  Stu might know.

He was sent out of the operating room and he went to go watch our daughter.  He took these pictures and brought them back for me to look at, as I wasn’t allowed out of post-op to go to her.

I’m actually glad (in a way) that I didn’t have to see her this way.  By the time I got there, she was doing so much better.  They weren’t ready to release her, but allowed me to go in, while in the rolling bed, to hold her for the first time.

First time being held by mama

First time being held by mama

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March 31, 2011

Little Bunny Foo Foo

Little Bunny Foo Foo

Today was better than yesterday.  Thank goodness.  I was able to get up with less pain – still a lot of pain – but less.  I had the second IV removed – no more IV’s now.  Freedom!!

The bruises by her eye, that we thought would look horrible by today, didn’t appear.  So lucky.  She still has an indentation from the forceps, but that will go away soon enough.  Her face is already looking much much better.

We finally figured out who this little girl is!  Woo Woo!!  I don’t know if I’ll tell.  Eh, of course I will!!  Her name is Ashlin Cerys (keh-ris), it means a dream or a vision of love.  First name is Gaelic, second is Welsh.  We had quite a debate on spelling.  Do we go traditional (Aislin) or do we use an Anglicized version.  We went with the Anglicized version, it will be easier on her as she grows up.

This name truly fits her.  After all the issues we had getting her here, up to and including her birth, she is a vision of love.  Although the other names we had would have worked, they wouldn’t have suited her nearly as much.  I’m glad we took the time to give her a deeply appropriate name.

Today’s OB visit was interesting.  They each give me a bit more information about the section.  Today, found out that often, in situations like mine, a woman could use lose* her uterus.  Oh!  It may have been an episode of ER.  LOL.  They are very concerned about postpartum depression.  It is usually  more prevalent with second pregnancies, with c-sections, with traumatic procedures.  Again, I have the trifecta.

I do know that right now, it’s just the “baby blues.”  Those lovely hormonal swings that you get, that you can’t control.  As the pregnancy hormones leave your system, they get better.  With Teagan, it took about 3 weeks, honestly, to not cry at a Hallmark commercial, or a sweet moment.  It’s when those baby blues don’t go away, when they get stronger, that you need to worry.  There are lots of medications you can get to help, and the OB’s will help.  Pediatricians will help.

We’ll just keep an eye out.  Shall we?

* Thanks Stu!  LOL!

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March 30, 2011

Day 1 postpartum.  I’ve gotten out of bed (yay!) and had my catheter taken out.  I’m wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not, as now I have to get out of bed.  I wasn’t scared to use the bathroom, but to get up.  To actually feel cut in half when I tried to go from lying to standing.  It wasn’t pleasant, but it also wasn’t horrible.  I was amazed at how stiff and achy I was.  I got up and used the bathroom within the “required” time.  Yay me.  Now, to get the IV’s out.

I found out today that the low-lying vessels that they found (looked for actually) at the last ultrasound are called vasa previa.   I’m glad that I didn’t know about this before, but now it makes sense why they didn’t want me to labor, but had me schedule my “elective” c-section.  It’s why I ended up loosing 4x as much blood during the procedure as normal.  It wasn’t due to the fibroid, it was the vasa previa.  Nice.

One bright spot in the day (other than getting tubes taken out) was that Teagan came to the hospital to meet her little sister.  It went pretty well.  Teagan may have realized that the baby LaLa was holding was the baby she was kissing a few days earlier.  The one inside mama.  I’m not sure if it will really hit her until we get home.  Right now, it’s sort of an “out of sight, out of mind” situation.  I think it will be ok, Teagan is a sweet and loving girl.  Her heart should just grow a little larger to share a bit more love.

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March 23, 2011

Since I have no choice and am medically required to have a c-section, I started the paperwork yesterday.  Just the act of scheduling a c-section makes it an elective procedure.  Don’t get me started on that.  It makes me very pissed off.

So, the High Risk OB’s recommend the section before 37w5d, but that would be Thursday, March 30.  The way both my and Stu’s work scheduled are next week, Friday works out better – 37w6d – April 1st.  That’s what I asked my OB to set up.  He said it shouldn’t be a problem.  Cool.  This kid that’s been torturing me the past few months can have her birthday on April Fool’s Day.  LOL!

Anyway, paperwork can’t really get finished until today.  So, I call mid-morning to see how every thing is going.  The scheduler said that 4/1 is all booked, so the next possible day would be 4/11.  She said the OB I saw last night was in surgery all day, so she was going to ask him tomorrow.  I said that MFM – High Risk – recommended by 37.5, so 4/11 would be later than they wanted.  She cant’ do anything without one of her OB’s confirming it.  I suggest she call one of the other OB’s – my “bad news” doc, or the one that delivered Teagan, or the one I usually see for my annuals. 

She eventually ends up getting the “bad news” doctor, who said that 4/11 is too late, so the only other option may be Tuesday 3/29.  It can’t be Monday, as I need to have the amnio before hand to check lung maturity.  Well, Tuesday is not a good day for either Stu nor myself.  Like we can even be picky.  Like we have any control over stuff like this.

Bottom line, she never called back to tell me what day/time I will end up getting cut open and having this little girl.  So, I have no idea what’s happening.  I need to call back tomorrow.


March 21, 2011

So, today’s news wasn’t good.  The placenta hasn’t moved, and probably won’t.  It’s still marginal.  Even if it moves a lot, there’s still the issue of all the blood vessels that are there, and cross the opening of the cervix.  No escaping it, I will be having a c-section.

Visit to the High-Risk people was a bit odd today.  They did everything backwards.  I met with the doctor first, when I usually see them after the ultrasound, so there’s something more to discuss.  The doctor was nice enough.  Asked how I was doing, checked swelling, recommended unisom for my sleeping trouble – but nothing for the pain.  It’s the pain that’s keeping me up, not just a simple insomnia.  Then, the conversation sort of floundered – He didn’t check the baby’s position, we couldn’t discuss birthing options, as we didn’t know where the placenta was.  I, of course, had questions after the ultrasound, but didn’t have a doctor then to talk to.

Then I got to sit with the nurse to have heparin training.  I’m being switched to heparin from Lovenox.  The heparin is two shots a day, and you need to fill the syringes, they don’t come pre-filled like the Lovenox do.  I hate doing the shots, but if I have a choice, Lovenox is the preferred shot.  Rum or lemon drops would be better, but that’s a different story.

The heparin training went well.  I remembered most of it from last time.  I joked that she prescribed me 100 needles and 60 doses/vials.  Better safe than sorry.  I’m sure they’ll put me back on Lovenox after delivery anyway.  This time around, they can actually take the extra doses of heparin and Lovenox, and get them to people who need them but can’t afford their medication.  There wasn’t something like that last time.  That makes me feel good…  Sort of recycling for drugs.  LOL.

Finally, the ultrasound tech is ready for me.  Back we go.  I get situated on the table and she lubes up my belly.  Scanner on!  She confirms that the baby is indeed head down, and her feet and hands are off to my right – around 3:00.  The little one is still a bit oblique, but yay!  Head down!  Next, off in search of the placenta, which is still covering the cervix.  Wonderful. 

By this time my back is beginning to scream.  The tech notices I’m very uncomfortable.  I ask if I can sit up for a minute and she said it was fine.  We chat about babies, and sizes and things.  I tell her about how I can’t sleep on my left or even reclined thanks to my stupid hip.  That I get to go to the chiro after we’re done there.  We start off again, as she said she could get most of the measurements while I lay on my right side.  Oh, the relief!

An ear with hair

An ear with hair

Watching the measurements on the screen was a bit freaky.  They were all 2-3 weeks ahead.  This baby has become freakishly large again.  A watermelon.  LOL.  She’s back up in the low 90th percentile.  As the tech gets a head measurement, she comments that the baby has a lot of hair.  LOL.  That explains the almost non-stop heartburn.  Though Teagan had a bit of hair, and I had horrible heartburn with her too.

We then take a break, and swap to the wand to get a good view of the placenta previa.  Fun.  LOVE that wand.  A resident comes in to evaluate the situation.  Marginal.  Still.  Great.  The resident then calls a doctor in to confirm.  The two of them discuss, remeasure, discuss.  All the while my back is killing me.  After about 20 minutes, they have enough shots of my cervix and the placenta.  His recommendation is to do a c-section, scheduled at 37.5 weeks.  Amnio before hand to check out lung development. 

Crap!  That’s next week!

Measurements for this not-so-little one put her at 7.5 lbs at 36 weeks.  In four weeks she’ll be quite large.  Mid 11 pounds.  I may be happy for a c-section in the long run.  LOL!

Truth be told, I’m a little freaked out.  I called my OB to set up an appointment tomorrow to discuss things with an OB, they’ll be the ones that actually do the section, not the people I saw today.  I’ll be able to ask all sorts of questions, and maybe I’ll come out of the appointment with an actual date.

Is it the birth I want?  No.  But circumstances are what they are.  It’s not because of anything I did, or didn’t do.


March 15, 2011

I think I’m in love.  With my new yoga ball.  I hope Stu doesn’t think I’m cheating.  It feels fantastic to sit on the yoga ball.  No, not like that!  But when I do sit on it, my back doesn’t hurt.  The pain melts away.

It was something the Chiro suggested doing two visits ago.  When I mentioned I didn’t have one, he said I could use the kitchen counter – hello lovely island! – instead.  The ball is better.  Much better.

At the end of this morning’s adjustment session he had me sit on one for a few minutes before I left.  The session was quite painful, actually.  I had to have him stop three times, my hip was throbbing so badly. 

Again, my hip didn’t pop.  After almost 30 minutes he apologized a bit, saying that he couldn’t keep pounding on me.  I know.  I’m frustrated about it as well.  The hip that has the torsion is the one that will usually pop at the drop of a hat, when I’m not pregnant. 

He’s asked me to come in every day this week – probably until we get the torsion out.  Hopefully tomorrow and the rest of the week won’t be quite as painful.  But after the ball, and 20 minutes of heat – have I mentioned how I LOVE the heated seats in my car? – everything was much better.  

I went out and got me a yoga ball as soon as I could.


February 21, 2011

Ultrasound Machine

Image by DoNotLick via Flickr

This baby is so grounded!  She’s not even here yet, and she’s in trouble!  The ultrasound showed that she’s turned, she’s breech again.  At least this time she’s a frank breech – butt down, head up, feet by her head – and not footling.  One good thing.

Today’s appointment with the High-Risk people was a mixed bag, though mostly disappointing.  Doctor visit along with an ultrasound to check growth and placenta position.  First thing we saw in the scan was that she’s butt down again.  The tech was very impressed with how flexible this little girl is.  I almost asked for a picture of her spine – it looked like it was almost bent in half.  OUCH!

No pictures today though, as she was facing my back…  oh well.

Some good news, her growth has slowed down a bit, which is nice.  Now, she’s measuring in the 80th percentile, not 93rd.  Belly, leg, arm length are almost normal, it’s her big noggin that’s pushing up the percentile.  Nice.  This is totally Stu’s fault.  LOL!  Teagan’s head circumference was in the 60th percentile when she was born.  I do vaguely remember the ultrasound techs saying something about her having a big head before she was born.

Placenta has moved a little bit, it seems.  The expert doctor asked the resident if she would consider it “marginal” or “low-lying.”  They ended up deciding it was still  “marginal.”  I’ve progressed from partial to marginal!  According to the resident, and the doctor I saw after the scan, if it was going to resolve, it most likely would have by now.  Although there is still a chance.  It could still happen.  They asked if I wanted to schedule a section now or come back for a last scan.  Ever the optimist, I decided to come back for one more scan.  Next appointment is March 21st.  We’ll see what happens then.

The peek at my cervix that the midwives requested showed that it was about 5cm long.  Longer than they expected it to be, at 32 weeks.  LOL.  So, those contractions that are getting a bit more annoying aren’t progressing.  Good thing, it’s still too early.

After the scan, the doctor I saw was quite pessimistic.  The one good thing, she did recommend that I stop taking the Procardia.  Yay!  Since I was having an adverse reaction and I’ll be watched closely by the midwives at my practice, she was ok with stopping the medication.  It wouldn’t have stopped premature labor anyway, just slow it down.  Of course, I’m supposed to call if the contractions get bad, take my breath away, blah blah blah.

We then discussed the placenta.  This is where she was the most pessimistic.  She said it wasn’t impossible for it to continue to move, to resolve enough for a vaginal birth.  She really gave me the impression she didn’t think it would.  With that and the baby breech, she’d recommend a section.  That there was risk of placental abruption, higher bleeding risk.  I asked if the placenta did move a bit more, and  the baby stayed frank (or complete) breech would it was possible to avoid a section, or if the placenta didn’t resolve any more but the baby turned, or if it didn’t could we then try to turn the baby.   She was very against doing an External Version.  With Lovenox/Heparin, they don’t like doing them, but it would be up to my normal practice.  Even if the placenta resolved.  It also would be up to the normal practice to decide to deliver if the baby stayed breech.  She was a bit less clear about if the placenta didn’t resolve and the baby turned.

So, a bit of good news and some bad.  I’m not too worried about turning the baby.  She’s turned before, she was head down Thursday.  I think she flipped last night, I did have a bit of roller-coaster feeling.


I totally forgot that the other bit of bad news was that I’m not supposed to pick up more than 20 pounds any  more.  Teagan weighs over 25 pounds now :(  I can carry her, just not pick her up.  <sigh>


February 18, 2011

Red sofa

Image via Wikipedia

Most of today was spent on the sofa.  With my feet up.  Even sitting up (at a table) was uncomfortable.  The first of my “modified,” more relaxed days.  Impossible to completely slow down, but slower, can be done. 

Stu got Teagan up and dressed, as he very often does, and brought her downstairs.  I got my morning hug, on the sofa, and get up to put her in her chair.  Ouch.  Asked Stu to get her out when she was done.  Piglet had two pieces of string cheese for breakfast, with both dada and mama in attendance.  Dada was not allowed to have any.  LOL.  She’s been insisting on an audience, that one of us sit with her while she eats.  It’s usually me, as I feed her dinner, though sometimes I’ll give her her food, and go take care of something in the kitchen.  Now, she demands that one of us be there.

Stu takes her off to day care almost the second she’s done.  It’s a relief, in a way, as I can go and put my feet up on the sofa.  It feels horrible that I’m glad I don’t have to play with my baby…  but the bending, standing, dashing to save something from breaking is getting more and more difficult.  Painful at times.

It was nice being able to work from the sofa today.  I really only got up to get something to drink, eat (cereal! quick and easy!) and go to the bathroom.  That’s more than often than is fun.

Even with doing almost nothing, I could feel contractions that were every 4-12 minutes at first.  Yeah, there’s an app for that.   I didn’t get around to the Procardia pill until about 10am.  (I don’t like how the medication makes me feel.  Sort of light-headed and separate from my body.  I’ll need to mention this to the doctors on Monday).  As there was not much pain – I didn’t need to breathe through them – I chalked it up to a slightly active morning and a delayed pill.  I lay down for a bit during lunch, and this afternoon they were every 10-15 minutes apart.  Much better.  I still needed to lie down for a bit at the end of the afternoon.


Stu came home from day care with a funny story.  He drops Teagan in the young toddler room, there are already three other kids there – the little black kid who calls Stu dada, a new boy and a girl.  The boy comes up to Stu and says “hi dada!”  Teagan was in a very huggy mood this morning, and is giving his leg a big hug and kiss.  He tries to disentangle himself and get her to get involved in the room – breakfast, the play house, the ball pit – so he can leave.  He suggests she go say hi to the little black boy.  Teagan walks up to him – the boy – and lifts up her shirt.  Belly!  LOL! 

Maybe this means that I shouldn’t show her my belly – the baby – any more.  LOL.