What to muse about today?

May 19, 2015 ~ Six? Six!

Joy of Cake

My baby turned six today.  I’m not quite sure how that happened.  But it did.

She’s turned into such a sweet and loving little girl.  Big girl.  One who is easily distracted by ants, but will give you her last piece of candy or french fry if she thinks you need it.  Or a petal from a flower, just because.  She’s a girl who is eager for approval and is almost always happy to get, or give, anyone a hug.  (We will need to talk to her about this, but not yet.  There’s still time for all those hugs.)

I worry sometimes about how sweet and sensitive she is.  How this could be a weakness, a frailty to be taken advantage of by people who just aren’t kind. I worry that her classmates in future years will be cruel to her because she wants to give the bus driver a flower.  Because she’s nice to someone they don’t believe is worth it.  This will be another thing that we put off, for fear of damaging that naïeve sweetness.  Eventually, she will need to toughen up, buttercup, and learn how to protect herself.

This past year has been a bit rocky, with lots of assessments, and screenings, and meetings, and appointments.  Finally, we have something that is helping Teagan be more Teagan, more focused, more there.  And more sweet.  It doesn’t help with everything, but hopefully, it will allow her to be able to help herself, something that was beyond her young abilities.

She’s become a world class snuggler.  I love that.

And I love her freckles.  And green eyes.  And smile.

Happy birthday to my lovely little big girl.  I can’t believe how far you’ve come.

More: Five.  Four.  Three.  Two.  One.  New.


December 3, 2014 ~ A Better Day



Today was a better day. Finally.  I think it’s been at least a month since we’ve had 13/14.  We celebrated by taking her out to the dinner of her choice – she chose McDonald’s for the toy and the play place.

I know I don’t write much about Teagan’s troubles in kindergarten.  It makes me uncomfortable to complain about the issues we’ve been having.  What we’ve tried, what worked – if only for a little bit.  Most of what we try doesn’t have much success.  It’s frustrating.  I don’t like failing, failing her.

I know eventually we’ll get it all figured out, but in the meantime, we celebrated our good day.  Our little victory.


December 2, 2014 ~ Kiss the Boys


Teagan is still having issues at school.  This is only part of yesterday’s behavior report.

Her day is divided into 14 periods and she is responsible for keeping track of her behavior.  This is in addition to the traffic light the rest of the class is on.  Her scale is a bit different than the others though – she needs two bad behaviors in a row to move from green to yellow to red.  She also resets back to green at least once during the day.

We get one of these sheets home every day, usually with at least three issues, most are because she was noisy, or couldn’t focus or follow directions.  The  notation that bothers us the most, and there’s at least one a day, is when she can’t keep her hands to herself.  Thankfully, she’s not always hitting her classmates.

Yesterday, there were five times that her behavior warranted the teacher detailing her actions. I suppose it’s not as bad as it could be, though the day only had 13 sections, she did have eight stickers for good behavior.

It was also the first time we had seen that she was chasing the boys, trying to kiss them.

Today, we read that she pulled her pants down during music class.  She said she needed to go to the bathroom.  In music?  Really?



September 18, 2014 ~ Fuzz!

Morning Joy

Waiting for Teagan’s bus this morning was lovely.  I had a full cup of coffee, Ashlin was in sandals and her jamamas.  Teagan was happy, going like a pinball from one thing to another – a bug, a leaf, a dandelion puff. The sun was smiling down, warming the day.

A friend said that Teagan looked like she was walking on sunshine, filled with joy.  This morning she was.  There wasn’t any apprehension about going to school, or what may happen there.  There was only joy with being able to run around, to watch the grasshopper jump and startle her sister, to make snow angels on the driveway, though she told me yesterdays were better.

Kindergarten has been rough for Teagan.  But we’re getting there, getting it all figured out, trying to get her the help she needs to help herself.

Today was a good day – she stayed green for the entire day.  No yellow or red behavior.  Green.  The teacher had sent me a mail letting me know.  Teagan basically flew off the bus and up the driveway to tell me herself.  The look on her face was one of the best things I’ve ever seen.  She was so proud that she didn’t have any troubles today.  She had to immediately let Stu know, and promptly got a huge bear hug from him.


We went inside and gave her her reward – the promised “fuzz.” She’s been waiting for a green/no issue day so she can load the Jessie dispenser full of Pez.  Today, she earned it.  And then promptly shared with her sister.

I really love this kid.


September 3, 2014 ~ The other one

The other one

Today I got a call from Teagan’s teacher. She told me that Teagan has been having some issues at school.  Mostly behavior issues.


Although not surprised, I – we –  were hoping for better.  She told us she would listen, sit still, behave.


It seems that she’s been having trouble following instructions, listening and complying.  Like at home.  Her teacher put her in the “cube chair” because she can’t sit still during circle time on the floor.


On top of that, she is pinching, pulling hair, hugging, and touching her classmates.  Classmates that she can’t remember the names of because she’s not listening.


I told the teacher that we would work to reinforce the good behavior at home, remind her to keep her hands to herself, to be calm and listen to the teacher.

When she behaves she is the most awesome little girl.  Fun, smart, funny, interesting.  I’m sad that she’s not sharing this amazing person with school.   I hope we can get this rocky start smoothed out and turn this around.

Fingers crossed.


June 4, 2014 ~ Playdates

Smile!Last night didn’t end as well as it should.  Then this morning started way earlier than it should.  Again.  Third (day? week? month!?!) in a row.

Driving the girls to day care, Stu recapped to Teagan all the fun things they can do and have if they have a happy mom.  Mom is happy when she can sleep [a bit later] in the mornings and is listened to and doesn’t need to shout.  They can go places – to the zoo, the beach, the library, the amusement park.

If they listen better they can have play dates with lots of their friends:  Guthrie, Kiera & Rowan from day care, Kara from dance class, Ian or Emily from day care, and maybe Jude, a friend of a friend.  Teagan took all that in, and then asked if she could have a play date with Kate. Kate?  Do you mean Guthrie’s mom?

Teagan nodded.  Silly girl. I think Kate and Guthrie come together.



April 25, 2013

So, some random things…

  • In the car Teagan saw a bug of some sort, which she dubbed a cricket. She then went on to tell me that it was crawling on her hand, but when they do, they kiss you when they crawl on your hand.  With their feet.
  • One day when I had to leave early to work in Jersey, I left a note for the girls, and Stu.  On it I asked Teagan to be a good girl at nap time (we are still having issues – sad face), and gave everyone hugs and kisses.  Ashlin asked Stu for the paper, saying “ugg!  Ugg!” and then kissed the paper.
  • Ashlin cannot leave day care, or anywhere else for that matter, without hugging everyone she knows goodbye.
  • She also can’t walk past an open door without closing it.
  • On my drive home from Jersey the other day, Alt Nation played Josie Cotton “Johnny Are You Queer” and I had flashbacks of teasing my friend Tom incessantly.  I’m not sure exactly why the song bothered him, but it did.  My sister also joined in when she was out and the song came on.  I miss Tom.  He’s moved too far away from some of his friends and we don’t see him enough.
  • I finished Ashlin’s car blanket last night, the blanket portion anyway.  I used a crochet bind off, which was easier for me to control the tension, and the cast-off stitches look much better, looser, than those of the scarf.  I will need to work on that.
  • The button hole on the strap is throwing me for a loop – not a hole – unfortunately.  I will get it figured out. Soon.  I’m sure it has something to do with my mirror knitting and Eastern European style.  I moved on to the crocheted shawl for the time being.
Done!  Blanket at least. #knit #blanket



April 17, 2013

Rough Nap :(

Rough Nap :(

We received three day sheets in a row with unhappy faces at nap time.  Twice, the teachers needed to reinforce the unhappy. :(

This isn’t the first time we’ve gotten a report like this.  It is the first time we’ve gotten three in a row.  Three days!  Gah!

We’ve spoken to Teagan before about how she needs to be quiet at nap time, even if she doesn’t nap.  About how she can ask to read a book quietly, if she doesn’t want to nap.  Letting her know that the teachers will let her read a book quietly, if she doesn’t want to nap.


She wasn’t quiet.  Three days in a row.

I’m not sure where she decided that yelling at the other kids who are trying to nap was a good idea.  She’s run around at nap time, singing loudly (she likes to sing*, she’s jumped on other kids cots.  Bad, bad.  We’ve talked to her too many times about this.   We’ve told her that she doesn’t want to nap that’s fine, but she doesn’t get to make that choice for her classmates.

Yesterday, after the purple highlighter and double unhappy faces, she was told that she’d lose her music at bedtime if we got another one today. Today, we got the third unhappy face for nap time in a row.

Tonight, Stu took away her cd player and box of cd’s.  No music at bedtime for her to go to sleep with.  Stu said that she was mildly curious when he unplugged the cd player, but lost it when he picked up the box of cd’s.  That’s when it hit home.  She will have no music at bedtime for a week (which she believes is only six days, but that’s another story).  A week may be a bit too long for a kid her age, but that’s what she was told the punishment would be.

She’s promised to be better tomorrow.  Stu told her as he tucked her in, that if she got a smiley face that she could have her music back tomorrow night.  We are going to say something to her in front of the teachers about how she needs to be good, especially at nap time.  We are going to let them know that we need to know how she behaved, that she’s gotten in trouble and could have her punishment reduced if she’s good.

Fingers crossed she’s good.  She can be so good.  She’s fun when she’s good.  I hate being mean.  It’s not any fun at all.


* One time at lunch she was happy so she started singing.  Unfortunately, she chose to sing Cellphone by Beck.  The other children found the riff “One by one I’ll knock you out!” a bit disturbing.


October 1, 2012

Treasures from the walkAnother post I’ve been sitting on, for some reason.  Sigh.  Getting there.

Anyway, we had a rough few days with Teagan.  After visiting the Aquarium, last Sunday, we had to leave a bit early, both girls were too tired.  They became little monsters, that we didn’t want to be around in public.  Teagan did fall asleep almost before we got out of the parking lot.

Unfortunately, after her power nap, she wasn’t much better.  So, Sunday was the first time she was sent to bed early.  As a punishment.  Before she had finished dinner.  She was still pushing everything, not listening, being willful and defiant.  By the time she was three quarters through her dinner we both were fed up and Stu took her up to her room for the night.  What seemed to upset her the most, not that we were unhappy with her behavior, but that she hadn’t finished her dinner and that her sister was downstairs watching “Signing Time” without her.  Eventually she calmed down.  Stu talked her down from the screeching, unhappy little girl that howled up the stairs.

She woke up promising to be better.  And asking for her leftover dinner, which Stu had actually put in the fridge for her.  She had maccaroni and cheese for breakfast!

Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to keep her promise.  Again, she gave us a near repeat Monday night. More screeching, crying, promising to be good, telling us that she could be a good girl.  Insisting she was a good girl, and would listen now.  Right. We’ve totally heard that story before.  So, she had another early night.

Tuesday, she was better, and Wednesday and Thursday.  Friday, well, she called one of her teachers a name.  This teacher asked her to be quiet during nap time.  Teagan didn’t want to, she said “no” then called the teacher a pig.  Horrifying.  I have no idea where she even got the idea of calling someone a mean name like that.  Day care told her that we don’t call people names.  Day care made Stu sign a note.  He was mortified.  We told her that we don’t call people bad things.  She said she’d be good, and wouldn’t do it again.

As I was getting her ready for bed, she called me something – a fart, a burp – I don’t remember what any more and then laughed.  I told her that she had just lost her books for doing something mean like that.  She thought she was being funny.  Apologized, but she knew she wasn’t getting any books.  A few minutes later, she called me a poop.  I picked her up and carried her to bed, telling her that her behavior was unacceptable, and made me sad. Stu came up, hearing the commotion, and reinforced the message.

We were dreading the weekend, but she was quite good.  Fun. She got to play with her friend G for a bit.  And she learned how to pedal her tricycle! All by herself!

She was pretty good today too :D


June 13, 2012

It’s been a busy day.

Teagan got to wear new pink sneakers today.  She was so excited, saying over and over that “they’re just like E’s.”  E is her best friend, at day care.  Teagan always qualifies it with “at day care.”

Pink Sneakers

She was also a nightmare, again.  A very bad girl.


Today at nap time, she pulled her pants and underwear down and danced on her cot.  Wonderful.  My girl is going to be a stripper.  Not an encouraging thing to hear from the instructors today.  Teagan did not get a cookie after dinner tonight.

Oh, and she’s not going to be wearing her pink sneakers to day care tomorrow.

Ashlin, on the other hand, had a good day.  She spent most of the day, including her nap, in the toddler room.  It’s not her first time, they’ve had her visit on and off for a few weeks now.  And she loves it there.  Mornings lately, she does not like being dropped off in the infant room, and will try to get into the toddler room.  She’ll walk up to the half door, and hold her arms up, until someone comes and picks her up and brings her in.  She also tried to let herself in.  (She’s going to be trouble.)   There must be something magic about the table over there, she loves eating her breakfast (pancakes, or waffles, or a bagel), at that little table, in her own little chair.

I think they’ll be moving her over soon, she’s ready.  I’m not sure I am.

Also, no bumps or scrapes today for her.  Yay.

And tonight, she did great with her fork.