What to muse about today?

May 23, 2012

Cry baby

Ashlin’s not been nursing these past days.  As I posted earlier, I’m pretty sure she’s done.  I had wanted to keep trying, just a little bit longer, just to be sure she wasn’t on a nursing strike.  But I’m not going to be able to wait and see if that’s all this past few days, past week, has been.  I not going to be able to nurse her any longer.  Turns out that I have a cyst or two, and because of them, will need to take some antibiotics that are not approved for nursing.  I also got a lovely, and large, shot of steroids, that will help keep me from sleeping through the nights.  She doesn’t need to get any of that, even in the minute quantities that would pass through milk.  I’ll be on the antibiotics for a while, so, we have to be done.

Maybe it’s the world telling me to take a hint.

Ok.  I get the hint.  My baby’s a toddler and doesn’t need me the same way she used to.  She still needs me, will still need me.

Double pony tail! Not quite as good as a double rainbow, but pretty close!

She’ll be just fine.

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May 22, 2012

Sleepy big girl!

I survived!  I’m still in one piece and not a gibbering, shaking mess.  Mostly sane, though I’m sure some will debate that.  Stu had to go out-of-state for work, so I was a single mom today.  With two girls.  A mom that had to be put-together enough to go to the office and be a fully-functioning area-expert in an all day training.  Training that started at 8am.  Ugh.

Before Ashlin, I wouldn’t have thought twice about getting ready and out the door with Teagan.  Even with an early start to the work day.  Teagan is usually pretty easy in the morning.  She also sleeps until 8am.  Ashlin, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to sleep later than 6:30.  With an alarm clock like that, when would I actually get ready?  She doesn’t really allow you to leave her too long in the high-chair, and giving her food to distract isn’t very safe.  Yo Gabba Gabba does get you a bit of time, but not quite enough to dry my hair.

So, Stu woke me as he left the house at 6.  Up and ready!  And of course, today, both girls did not want to wake up.  I had to wake each up – after I had a cup of coffee first!  Ashlin, dressed first, had some cheerios while I got her sister.  Miss sleepy-head, who woke up dry!,  was excited for pancakes!  Pancakes are awesome.  They kept her preoccupied while I brushed her hair.

I always forget how long it takes to actually leave the house with the girls, alone.  Once we got to day care, Teagan did not want to be left at day care, she kept asking me to pick her up.  Eventually, I was able to pass her off to one of the instructors, advising them that she hadn’t peed  yet, and they convinced her to go.  I ran out.  Ashlin didn’t look back as she got dropped  in the young toddler room and was offered peaches.

So, five minutes later than I really should have been, I tried to head to work.  There was an accident on the entrance ramp, traffic backed up two lights.  Gotta love the crazy people thinking they can drive in heavy rain just like the do when it’s sunny out.  Add another 15 minutes to my drive in.  Eventually, I got to the office, only 15 minutes late, which wasn’t too bad.  There was a breakfast, so they hadn’t really gotten too far, though I had to sit at a table all by myself.  Which wasn’t too onerous, as I was able to check and answer e-mail a bit more frequently.

Pick up and dinner was a bit challenging too, Teagan was a crying melty mess.  She was very upset it was raining, and couldn’t go on her swing for the second night in a row.  Then she didn’t like the way I did, oh, everything.  It’s not how LaLa, or Dada, or even PoPop does it.  Fine.  Cereal with milk is an awesome dinner.  Oh, and have a freeze pop while I put your exhausted sister to bed.  Teagan was very good downstairs, alone, with Yo Gabba Gabba and her mini freeze pop.  Fun (Some Nights) and Imagine Dragons (It’s Time) on YouTube got us through bathroom, teeth and pj’s.  She asked for a book in Spanish, then compliantly crawled into her bed.

I survived!  Until next week, we we get to do it all again!


PS.  Teagan LOVES her toddler bed, she’s been very good at bed time

PPS.  Ashlin didn’t want to nurse today :(


May 21, 2012

So, I think Ashlin’s just about done nursing.  It’s sad.  I’m not quite ready for her to be done.  Nursing her has always been a challenge, one that I wasn’t sure I wanted, but now, at the end, one I’m glad I did.

She had weight issues, which made me question my supply, whether she was getting enough.  She never got “milk drunk,” and always  seemed to be just a little fussy.   I didn’t start pumping really, until I went back to work, and by then, well, pumping just didn’t go quite as well as it had with Teagan.  Then, I was able to pump a bit more than needed, and over time, built up a lovely stash.  One that allowed me to stop pumping at 14 months but still have her go to day care with breast milk for another month and a half.

This time, I did little better than keep up.  Lot of that was due to sheer exhaustion.  When I slept better, I produced more.  She nursed better.  Happier.  The sleep, well, that was her fault.  She didn’t sleep, so I didn’t sleep.   I was very glad to stop pumping at about a year, though I will question that decision.  It was such a relief to not pump though.

Now, it’s been a few days since she’s latched on for more than a minute or two, and there just doesn’t seem to be time to keep offering, to keep not giving up.  Life is so busy with a new toddler and a preschooler.  It may be easier to not continue trying to encourage her.  I have always said I would nurse the girls as long as they wanted.  Teagan, I encouraged her to wean a little bit, but still nursed her until she was 16 and a half months.  I was pregnant with Ashlin, it hurt and made me sick.

Ashlin’s almost 14 months now.  Still, a respectable length to have nursed her.  I guess I should let her decide, though I will probably keep offering another week, just to be sure.

She’s growing so fast.


March 24, 2012

Who Me?

Look who had a new tooth show up over night!

When she went to bed last night, she had the two on the bottom and then the top two eye teeth that are through, but not fully erupted.  This morning, as she was eating cheese and crackers, there was a new one on the bottom left just taunting me.

The top two aren’t out yet, just hanging out there, bulging her gums, looking ready to cut through.

This does explain why she’s been so cranky at bedtime these past few days.   Well, more than just the two teeth that aren’t cut yet.  However, she’s been a bit less bity, which is nice, though her latch is a bit scrape-y still.  I can’t seem to find a position where she’s not scraping those freshly budded top teeth.  Hopefully, soon, we’ll get it figured out.  I don’t remember this being such an issue with her sister.

This cheese-loving baby now has five teeth.  She seems to be getting a new tooth every week!


March 12, 2012

Ashlin’s been putting us through the ringer with these teeth of hers.  They can’t come through fast enough for me.  She wants to be held, but then doesn’t want to be held.  You can’t rock, or sway, or spin or swing her.  She’s not happy if you sit, nor is she happy if you stand.  She will not let you put her down, but she doesn’t want to be held.  She cries if you hold her horizontally, but also if you hold her vertically.  The teething tablets are helping a little, but not enough.  Motrin is also helping a little, but not enough.

The past two nights it’s taken somewhere between 45 minutes to an hour to get her asleep.  And then she may not stay asleep.  She comes up for air, or comforting, and then it takes another 30-45 minutes to get her back down.  Three to four (and sometimes five,) hours of sleep with just a few awake minutes of nursing and patting, but then more sleep is great.  Two to three hours of sleep, with an hour of nursing and trying to put back down is not fun.

I’m not 100% sure I do want her to have more teeth, she has become a bit bitey, and I’m not quite ready to stop nursing her.  But I do want her to not be in pain any more, to feel better.  I’d also like her to be my lovely, yet not-so-great sleeper, who would sleep (a bit!).  The one you could put down drowsy with her glow worm, and who would put herself to sleep.  I’d also like her to stop biting.

Is that too much to ask?


March 4, 2012

It’s been a long day, although somehow I was able to sneak in not one but two naps, and I want to get to Once Upon A Time on the DVR before the baby cries again.  She’s been bizarrely cranky tonight, and just doesn’t want to stay down.  She’s also started biting again, so I think there may be teeth working their way out.  Not that I’m complaining too much, 11 months and only two teeth so far has been a dream.  It wasn’t this easy nursing Teagan, who had many more sharp bity teeth much, much earlier.  Still, it would be nice if Ashlin didn’t bite at all.  Because, damn!  Those teeth are sharp!

So, we spent the weekend up at my parents, for my dad’s birthday.  LaLa, of course, did her shopping magic and had fun new toys for the girls…  My little Irish Princesses.  Princesses who worship their grandparents.

Beautiful Irish Princess

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September 8, 2011 ~ Day Care Update

Around lunch time, I ended up calling day care to see how Ashlin was holding up.  (I was concerned about whether she took a bottle or not.  Really.  It wasn’t because I missed her.  Really).

Turns out that she was doing ok, though not having a spectacular start to her day care experience.  She did nap off and on most of the morning, in the swing and in her crib.  By the time that all the naps were over, it had been about 4 hours since Ashlin had last eaten, so she was a bit cranky.  They hadn’t wanted to wake her, as she was getting used to the new environment.  So, cranky baby who doesn’t really like bottles?  It didn’t go too well, she ended up taking 2oz over an hour, really making the instructor work for it.  I was pretty happy she took something.

When I walked in to pick her up, she was in the swing, crying.  According to the afternoon instructor, she had just started that minute.  A few minutes before she had been playing and smiling.  Ashlin loved their play-gym mat, and the excersaucer they have (theirs rocks too).  She also really enjoyed the swing.  They had tried to give the second bottle, but Ashlin didn’t want any of it, but was obviously hungry.  Poor baby.

I go get her sister and get home to nurse my baby.  Ashlin is obviously tired, as her nap schedule has been thrown off by the new place, new sounds, new people.  Today may not have been the best day to start her, as there were three instructors today, where usually there are only two.  They’re sure that next time, Ashlin will do better, not that she did all that badly today.  She will get used to taking bottles, and sleeping in a new place with new people and new sounds.

I’ll get used to it too.


June 6, 2011 ~ Ashlin’s Stats

Bored Now

Bored Now

Forgot to update with Ashlin’s Two Month Doctor’s Appointment.

She’s grown!

At birth she weighed 7lbs 11oz, she’s now 11lbs 2oz.  That puts her in the 50-55th percentile.  Her height went from 19.25 inches to 22.5.  Again 50-55th percentile.  Head circumference is now 40 cm – 80th percentile!  OMG!

She’s doing well all around – nursing, growing, sleeping.  Sleeping like a dream!  She will give you a big smile, one that lights up her eyes, and makes her pull up her arms like she’s the cutest.  She sticks her tongue out, tries to play the game often.  She’s almost laughing, the proto-laugh is getting more and more like a real laugh.  She’s beginning to interact with toys, though that’s still in it’s very early stages.

She does get fussy – gassy – every now and then.  Very not fun when she’s crying and everything you do doesn’t help.  Thankfully, it’s not too often, maybe once or twice a week or so.  Not every day.  Not every night.  Sometimes gas drops help, but unfortunately not always.  Sometimes the swing helps and that’s good.


April 13, 2011

It’s been two weeks since Ashlin’s delivery and I’m just shy of 20 lbs down.  Not including any gain from all the fluid they gave me for the section and after.  Oh, and the double ice creams I ate in the hospital for at least two, (if not three), meals a day.  LOL!

I ended up gaining about 7 lbs more with this pregnancy than with Teagan.  A bit more than they wanted – 15-25lbs was recommended.  I ended up gaining 34 lbs.  Oops.  I really did try to not gain that much.  Ate steak over salad for lunch often, apples with peanut butter.  Tried to stay away from pasta, but oh, mac ‘n cheese was lovely.  Cheese was lovely.  Frozen pizza was a lifesaver.  Too often.

All in all, I tried to eat well, but circumstances sometimes didn’t help.  But that’s history now.  I have 14 lbs left to lose.  After Teagan’s delivery, it took me 3 weeks to lose this much weight.  So, all in all, not too bad this time.  A total of six months to loose all the pregnancy weight with Teagan.

I know breastfeeding is helping.  And that’s also going better than with Teagan.  Ashlin is latching and feeding much better than her older sister.  Teagan was a bit of a battle for the first month, before she really got the hang of it.  We’re still using a shield, but have gone down one size, and are working on getting rid of it completely.

Because we’re breastfeeding, I know I have to eat, and can’t deprive myself too much.  I need the calories to pass on to Ashlin.  So, it’s not really time to “diet.”  We’ll just see how it goes, eating when I’m hungry, nursing Ashlin on demand.

Hopefully, I’ll loose all the weight this time within six months as well.  By not doing too much, like last time.  Fingers crossed!


September 17, 2010

So, I think my daughter is weaning. <sigh>  I suppose officially she’s been weaning since she turned six months and started eating solid food.  Nursing sessions have been slowly decreasing, till about two months ago, with two a day, if that.  She’s almost always wanted to nurse just before going to bed, even though she doesn’t nurse to sleep any more.  She hasn’t done that since she was about 7 months, although she still does get a bit trancy and milk drunk.  That one last session has been decreasing in time, and occasionally hasn’t happened at all (like last night).

The past few nights, however, she’s woken up at stupid early (or late, depending on how you look at it) asking to either 1. Nurse or 2. Go downstairs and eat.  Sometimes you can get away with giving her some water.  Last night, she asked for a banana.  The night before, it was cheese.  Sometimes she’ll go right back to sleep, sometimes she’ll be up in 40 minutes asking for more.  The start of this week, she slept from 7pm to 8am.  No trouble.  Last week too, well, except the few nights she woke up demanding to be fed.  Downstairs.  Repeatedly.

I suppose I should be happy, she’s 16 months old, very into her food (as you can see!).  We’ve actually nursed up till now, when at first the whole thing was up in the air.  We needed to work on it.  It’s been very rewarding, close, snuggly, warm.  I’m going to miss it.

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