What to muse about today?

November 24, 2014 ~ Broken Drill

Driving home from pre-school Ashlin told me she had a secret.  A secret she’d tell me at home, and then tell dada, and then Teagan and then mama.  Ok.  You can totally tell me your secret twice.  She admitted that it really wasn’t a secret, she just wanted to say it was, she just wanted to have a secret.  Silly girl.

Once we were home, she told us about her secret – that they had a Broken Drill – or something along those lines – in case of an emergency – at school today.  She said that all the kids in class as well as the teacher and the para go and sit crisscross applesauce in the bathroom and be quiet.  According to her, it was kinda fun, because her teacher let them watch Bubble Guppies on her phone.  Ashlin and her sister don’t get to watch that show often at home.  When I asked how long the drill was, she told me it was 40 minutes.  That seemed a bit long for a drill, when I asked if she got to see all the show, she said no, just a little bit.

We were still talking about this when Teagan got home.  Teagan had a fire drill today, even with the rain.  She told me that for fire drills they go outside, for work drills they sit on the carpet. But for broken drills they go in to a closet.  The kindergartners don’t get to sit, they kneel.  There are just too many kindergartners to sit in the closet or hide in the bathroom.

So sad that both my three-year-old and five-year-old know how to hide in place.  Crazy that both of them were so blasé about the whole thing, but they don’t know how the world has changed.  What they’ve lost.  Well, what we’ve lost, they don’t really know.  To them, normal is hiding in a closet or a bathroom watching Bubble Guppies on a phone.

I wish the world wasn’t this way.  That they can be the silly little girls they are.


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November 17, 2014 ~ Nine Years

IMG_0048.JPGNine years ago my life changed. At the time I had no idea how much. It literally changed completely. And is so much more than I could ever have imagined.

Thank you for humoring me and believing in us.

We finally got the timing right.

Love you


November 14, 2014 ~ Teagan Draws


Yes. We are still here. I’m still here. Same old, same old: super busy, not enough time, sick, can’t keep my eyes open, oh so tired.


I figured I’d share an amazing picture that Teagan drew along with a memory I wish I had been there first hand. I’m going to set it up and let Stu’s words finish.

We were on the way back from the doctor and I went to get Ashlin, Stu took her to CVS to get the antibiotics for her ear. They wandered through, waited in line for the medication and were at the register, ready to pay.

There’s a woman behind the checkout and a guy stacking candy in front.
Teagan starts playing with the electronic card swiping thingy.
“Dada… can I pay the tickets?”
“I don’t know, can you pay the tickets?”
“I don’t know.”
“Did you bring any money?”
“Then how are you going to pay?”
Teagan picks up the signing pen..
“I can draw a picture of a cat!”
Both CVS staff start laughing…
“I don’t think pictures of cats are legal tender.”
“I don’t think you can pay with a picture of a cat.”
Candy stacking man is laughing pretty hard now
“To draw it I have to put a U and then an M on top. Then I draw the eyes and nose. Those are circles. Then I give it a hairy face. It’s difficult.”
“I know it’s difficult to draw, but I still don’t think they’re going to let you pay with cats.”
“Ok dada. Can I have my candy now?”

I love how this girl thinks, when she slows down enough to share with us.


September 18, 2014 ~ Fuzz!

Morning Joy

Waiting for Teagan’s bus this morning was lovely.  I had a full cup of coffee, Ashlin was in sandals and her jamamas.  Teagan was happy, going like a pinball from one thing to another – a bug, a leaf, a dandelion puff. The sun was smiling down, warming the day.

A friend said that Teagan looked like she was walking on sunshine, filled with joy.  This morning she was.  There wasn’t any apprehension about going to school, or what may happen there.  There was only joy with being able to run around, to watch the grasshopper jump and startle her sister, to make snow angels on the driveway, though she told me yesterdays were better.

Kindergarten has been rough for Teagan.  But we’re getting there, getting it all figured out, trying to get her the help she needs to help herself.

Today was a good day – she stayed green for the entire day.  No yellow or red behavior.  Green.  The teacher had sent me a mail letting me know.  Teagan basically flew off the bus and up the driveway to tell me herself.  The look on her face was one of the best things I’ve ever seen.  She was so proud that she didn’t have any troubles today.  She had to immediately let Stu know, and promptly got a huge bear hug from him.


We went inside and gave her her reward – the promised “fuzz.” She’s been waiting for a green/no issue day so she can load the Jessie dispenser full of Pez.  Today, she earned it.  And then promptly shared with her sister.

I really love this kid.


September 11, 2014 ~ Legwarmers

Ashlin is on the brink of outgrowing her pink leg warmers I made last year, so I’m making a new set. These may be a bit too long though.

I think they should be pretty well matched. I hope they will be!


First one!




September 10, 2014 ~ Homework!

Tonight Ashlin worked on her first homework project – a cut-out representation of herself. She drew eyes, nose, sides of her nose and mouth. She colored in hair and shoes (I think they’re her pink Chucks).  She wrote her name – with no help. There’s a cup in her hand because she loves milk.  There’s a sticker of Sophia the First (one of her favorite shoes) and a bird, because they’re pretty.

Stu said that she’s not done yet, she wants to put some pictures of her family on as well.

This one totally rocks.



September 8, 2014 ~ Fluff!

It’s so fluffy!

I made fluff! Home-made marshmallow creme! From scratch. It wasn’t too difficult at all.  Surprisingly easy, actually. I’m not sure where I came across the recipe, but it caught my eye and I pinned it.

While Ashlin was upstairs for a bit of quiet time – or morning nap – I set up all the ingredients, pulled out the stand mixer and opened up my shiny, new candy thermometer.

Ashlin helped me put most of the ingredients together, though I did separate the eggs.  She really enjoys helping to cook.  She did get a bit tired watching the corn syrup and sugar boil, getting the mixture to 240°F took a bit too long for her attention span.  I don’t blame her.

Not quite 240F

Eventually, the mixture did get there, and the egg whites peaked softly.  Tempering the whites wasn’t too bad, though the syrup was very sticky and spun strings when it got cold.

I mixed till glossy, added the vanilla and let it whip away.  I did stop to scrape down the sides once, but other than that, an easy enough recipe.  Other than getting the syrup to the require 240°F, spooning the mixture into a jar was probably the most difficult thing.  Not an easy task, it was thick and sticky!

The recipe made about 2 1/2 cups of fluff.  I will probably make this again, and I’m sure it will take about half the time.  It’s always easier the second time.

Ashlin claimed it “deeeeelicious!” while licking the spoon I gave her.  It had a fresher taste, texture, than the store bought fluff.

Then, while eating her much wanted fluffernutter, she said that that it made a “tasty sandwich, mama!”

That’s good enough for me!




September 3, 2014 ~ The other one

The other one

Today I got a call from Teagan’s teacher. She told me that Teagan has been having some issues at school.  Mostly behavior issues.


Although not surprised, I – we –  were hoping for better.  She told us she would listen, sit still, behave.


It seems that she’s been having trouble following instructions, listening and complying.  Like at home.  Her teacher put her in the “cube chair” because she can’t sit still during circle time on the floor.


On top of that, she is pinching, pulling hair, hugging, and touching her classmates.  Classmates that she can’t remember the names of because she’s not listening.


I told the teacher that we would work to reinforce the good behavior at home, remind her to keep her hands to herself, to be calm and listen to the teacher.

When she behaves she is the most awesome little girl.  Fun, smart, funny, interesting.  I’m sad that she’s not sharing this amazing person with school.   I hope we can get this rocky start smoothed out and turn this around.

Fingers crossed.


September 3, 2014 ~ This one

This one

This one.

She loves school. Just loves it.

Fifteen minutes after her sister is on the bus, she is asking if it’s time for her to go to school.  She knows that she doesn’t go until after she eats lunch, but by 9am she’s ready.

Today on our drive to school, I asked again if she liked going to school.  “Yes!” she screamed.  “Do you miss day care?”  She’s always pointing out that we have to pass day care to get to her school.  “Yes, I miss my friends and my teachers” was her reply.

“Sweetie, do you like staying home with mommy in the mornings?”  Not that I was fishing for a compliment or a preference.  I was genuinely curious as I do enjoy the time with her.  “YES!”

That made me feel really good.  Better about the decision to not pursue a new job right away, but give some time to my girls.  More than just the summer.  I’m glad we were able to get Ashlin into the pre-K program. At times I wish the program was more than just the afternoon, I think Ashlin would really like a longer program.  And there are times that I would like a bit more “me” time.

But she’s happy, and that’s a good thing.



August 27, 2014 ~ it’s so fuzzy!

I asked Teagan if anyone one said anything about her blanket. She said that her teacher wanted to take it home, it was so fuzzy.




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