What to muse about today?

April 5, 2011

Today was Ashlin’s first doctor visit.  We were late.  Of course.  I needed to nurse her before we left, and she decided that she’d dilly dally and not be the chap nurser that she’s been the past day or so.  Oh well.  We were late.

The appointment went well.  She’s gained 5oz since discharge, which is good for a breastfed baby.  She’s not grown, though her head has shrunk (just an eight of an inch).  Doc said she looked wonderful.  Little jaundice, but not enough to worry about.  I knew I wasn’t crazy when I said I thought she had a slightly yellow tint.

The only thing that was a bit concerning, and even then not really, was that we need to retest her blood from the PKU.  Her results came back as high for thyroid.  Doctor said that the range they put in is very large, so there are lots of false positives.  He doesn’t think there’s anything to worry about.  But the results should be back by Friday.

We should also hear sometime this week about setting up the ultrasound for the hip dysplasia.  The doctor today thinks the clicking I feel/hear is coming from her knee, not her hip.  It made me feel good that I wasn’t dismissed,  but listened to.  He gave me a very possible alternative – and hey, what do I know?  I just know I hear/feel something when I change her diaper.  Something.


Teagan was in a funny mood tonight once she got home from day care.  She caught her finger on one of the gates, and was nearly inconsolable.  I asked if she wanted to sit on my lap and have me look at it.  She said she did.  So, once I got settled, mom put her in my lap.  She sat there a minute or so, we had a snuggle, and then she was better.

Dinner, could be considered a disaster.  Not total, but very nearly.  Mom had made dinner, and pulled some aside to cool for Teagan.  Stu got her settled in her chair, and then went to put her bib on.  She wanted nothing to do with her bib.   She was like that last night too, but I didn’t think much of it.

Anyway, she was just prickly through the dinner.  Didn’t want the food, wanted the food, threw a bit, played with a bit.  Tried to make us laugh.  (We totally need to stop her trying to “entertain” at mealtime).

Since she was “all dun” with her chicken, she handed me the plate, and me not being able to lean over far enough barely touched the bowl as she let go, and it fell on the floor.  If I had been able to lean over, I would have had a better grip.  And then I can’t clean it up.  Frustrating for both her and me.  And my wonderful family that have to pick up the slack for me.  (Can you tell I’m tired of not being 100%?  Even 60% would be better.  I know I’m getting there though).

As she needed to have something to eat, I offered her some cheerios and string cheese.  Teagan said that would be acceptable.  LOL.  Mom wanted to give her some left over Chinese, some left over manicotti, something else.   I do not want to get in the habit of short oder cooking for her, so if she’s not going to eat dinner with us, she can have an easy alternative – o’s and cheese.  If I was more healed, I would have offered her some yogurt, but I didn’t have the strength to mix the fruit in.

She was eating her string cheese, again, trying to make us laugh, and got a piece stuck in her throat.  She was able to pull it out.  But then she did it again.  On purpose.  This time, she ended up gagging and throwing up a little bit.  I don’t think she expected that to happen.

Strawberries were a hit, as they always are.  She can’t get enough of them.  LOL.  Dinner ended well.  Bedtime was a different story.  It was almost like Sybill had taken over.

Maybe she’s over tired, maybe she’s just reacting to having her world turned upside down.  Hopefully we’ll get our sweet girl (who’s gotten so big!) back all the time, soon.


April 2, 2011

Home.  We’re home.  Yay.

Busy morning at the hospital.  I had my staples removed around 7:30am.  The same resident who’s been stopping in every morning was still on rounds.  Nice to have the continuity.  She promised that removing the staples did not use a stapler remover like you get at Office Depot.  LOL.  Of course that’s where my mind had dwelled all week.  She also said that they wouldn’t hurt.  She was right.  It wasn’t that bad.  There were one or two that were a bit more twingy than the others – there were about 14 or so – but all in all, not bad.  No numbing or anything, just popped them off gently, somehow.  I didn’t watch.  I didn’t want to know, though I did wonder what they looked like.

She then put steri strips on, while I joked about how I was worried all my guts would just ooze out if I laughed too hard.  She laughed at that.  According to her,  the incision was almost healed – though it has to be new tender skin.  I still need to be careful about moving and stuff, but it was all closed and healing nicely.  Still it’s hard to not worry about having a small hole become larger and then all my guts slip out.  It hurts to much to have that go completely away.

So, Stu drive home, carefully, trying to avoid the pot holes and the sharp turns.  getting out of the car was not fun, but walking into my house was.  Teagan was a bit funny at first, but everyone was crowding her, trying to make sure she was ok.  After a bit, they backed off.  She got better.

I sat with her while she had lunch – steamed veggies with dup dup – dumpling sauce or something.  She wanted more and more dup dup.  LOL.  It was nice getting a kiss and hug from her.  It’s going to be a challenge to not pick her up.

My parents are here, along with my sister.  They’re the distraction for Teagan.  The help I need for getting food and stuff.  I’m not supposed to do the stairs more than once or twice a day.  I need to keep my feet up.  No driving for two weeks.  No bending.  No carrying anything heavier than the baby – 7 lbs .5oz as of this morning.

I don’t have any pictures.  I will update with a picture from mom or sis tomorrow.

I’m going to sleep in my bed.  Heaven.


March 21, 2011

So, today’s news wasn’t good.  The placenta hasn’t moved, and probably won’t.  It’s still marginal.  Even if it moves a lot, there’s still the issue of all the blood vessels that are there, and cross the opening of the cervix.  No escaping it, I will be having a c-section.

Visit to the High-Risk people was a bit odd today.  They did everything backwards.  I met with the doctor first, when I usually see them after the ultrasound, so there’s something more to discuss.  The doctor was nice enough.  Asked how I was doing, checked swelling, recommended unisom for my sleeping trouble – but nothing for the pain.  It’s the pain that’s keeping me up, not just a simple insomnia.  Then, the conversation sort of floundered – He didn’t check the baby’s position, we couldn’t discuss birthing options, as we didn’t know where the placenta was.  I, of course, had questions after the ultrasound, but didn’t have a doctor then to talk to.

Then I got to sit with the nurse to have heparin training.  I’m being switched to heparin from Lovenox.  The heparin is two shots a day, and you need to fill the syringes, they don’t come pre-filled like the Lovenox do.  I hate doing the shots, but if I have a choice, Lovenox is the preferred shot.  Rum or lemon drops would be better, but that’s a different story.

The heparin training went well.  I remembered most of it from last time.  I joked that she prescribed me 100 needles and 60 doses/vials.  Better safe than sorry.  I’m sure they’ll put me back on Lovenox after delivery anyway.  This time around, they can actually take the extra doses of heparin and Lovenox, and get them to people who need them but can’t afford their medication.  There wasn’t something like that last time.  That makes me feel good…  Sort of recycling for drugs.  LOL.

Finally, the ultrasound tech is ready for me.  Back we go.  I get situated on the table and she lubes up my belly.  Scanner on!  She confirms that the baby is indeed head down, and her feet and hands are off to my right – around 3:00.  The little one is still a bit oblique, but yay!  Head down!  Next, off in search of the placenta, which is still covering the cervix.  Wonderful. 

By this time my back is beginning to scream.  The tech notices I’m very uncomfortable.  I ask if I can sit up for a minute and she said it was fine.  We chat about babies, and sizes and things.  I tell her about how I can’t sleep on my left or even reclined thanks to my stupid hip.  That I get to go to the chiro after we’re done there.  We start off again, as she said she could get most of the measurements while I lay on my right side.  Oh, the relief!

An ear with hair

An ear with hair

Watching the measurements on the screen was a bit freaky.  They were all 2-3 weeks ahead.  This baby has become freakishly large again.  A watermelon.  LOL.  She’s back up in the low 90th percentile.  As the tech gets a head measurement, she comments that the baby has a lot of hair.  LOL.  That explains the almost non-stop heartburn.  Though Teagan had a bit of hair, and I had horrible heartburn with her too.

We then take a break, and swap to the wand to get a good view of the placenta previa.  Fun.  LOVE that wand.  A resident comes in to evaluate the situation.  Marginal.  Still.  Great.  The resident then calls a doctor in to confirm.  The two of them discuss, remeasure, discuss.  All the while my back is killing me.  After about 20 minutes, they have enough shots of my cervix and the placenta.  His recommendation is to do a c-section, scheduled at 37.5 weeks.  Amnio before hand to check out lung development. 

Crap!  That’s next week!

Measurements for this not-so-little one put her at 7.5 lbs at 36 weeks.  In four weeks she’ll be quite large.  Mid 11 pounds.  I may be happy for a c-section in the long run.  LOL!

Truth be told, I’m a little freaked out.  I called my OB to set up an appointment tomorrow to discuss things with an OB, they’ll be the ones that actually do the section, not the people I saw today.  I’ll be able to ask all sorts of questions, and maybe I’ll come out of the appointment with an actual date.

Is it the birth I want?  No.  But circumstances are what they are.  It’s not because of anything I did, or didn’t do.


February 10, 2011


Image by Dave-F via Flickr

The week’s almost over.  Just one more day.  It’s been a rough week.  Stressful.  Busy. 

I don’t have to turn the alarm on tonight.  No need.  I get to work from home tomorrow.  Even if Teagan (or I) oversleep, it’ll still be ok for my shot.  Neither of us sleep that late. 

Hope that being at the house will make the day a bit less stressful, even though it will still be very busy.  Less stress would be nice.  It would be nice to not have BH contractions, a place that’s not too hot (like the office has been all week).  Unfortunately, it’s also going to be a bit more distracting.  I need to be focused.  Sometimes it’s hard to figure out the issue with a formula or query if there’s dirty dishes in the sink or laundry to reboot.

Tomorrow, I also have to go meet with Teagan’s possible new pediatrician.  We’ve finally gotten my act together enough to set up a “meet and greet” with a local pediatrician.  I suppose I should be happy that we haven’t needed to make an emergency decision, thanks to an ear infection or some other creepy crud or oozy thing.  It would be nice to like the practice, the doctor.  I hope they also have a Lactation Consultant that I can have a few minutes with as well.

Good news!  We can use the front door again!  The snow melted/softened enough these past few days that Stu was able to get the path shoveled.  It had been about 2 feet deep of near-solid ice.  Today the ice melt worked enough to get the last bit of ice off, and make it so it’s not taking your life (or neck!) in your hands to walk on it.  So nice!

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February 3, 2011

It was a beautiful drive this morning.  The sun shining through the ice on the trees.  Mountains of shimmery trees.  Breathtaking.

I had a prenatal visit this morning with my OB, not the High-Risk people.  OB visits I try to make with the mid-wives.  My OB has great mid-wives.  Today’s was the one who almost delivered Teagan.  She stuck with me all day through induction and labor, until she had to leave, due to an emergency with her husband.  So, I ended up pushing with the doctor, who ended up doing the actual delivery.

Anyway.  It was great to see her again.  She’s so wonderfully granola.  It was sort of like going home.  (Back when home was granola too, and not touristy mass-market).  I got yelled at, (nicely enough), for my weight gain – I really haven’t gained that much – though more than they wanted.  More than they want with a 93rd%ile baby, partial placenta previa, and a clotting disorder.   Blood pressure was good, everything else was good.  Baby is still breech – footling breech.  So, she gave me exercises to do to try to turn the baby.  They’re more like relaxing techniques than exercises – lying on a hard surface with hips raised by pillows for 10 minutes, on an empty stomach.  Ok, I can do that.  They suggest before lunch and dinner.  I can do breakfast and dinner…

This exercise should turn about 80% of breech babies.    Breech babies seems to be a bit more common in a second pregnancy, along with a few other factors (fibroids, which so many women have, and placenta previa.  I’ve got three possible causes.  Great.

So, Footling Breech seems to be one of the less common types of breech baby.  If the exercises don’t work, there aren’t too many options.  They don’t reccommend doing an external cephalic version with a placenta previa.  The external version can start labor, which they don’t want if you have a previa, even a marginal one.

Footling breech babies are also more prone, if delivered vaginally, head entrapment, leading to much more serious incisions than I want to have happen to certain areas.  There’s also the issue of cord prolapse being a serious, and all too common complication.  Most hospitals in the US won’t deliver a breech (any type of breech) baby vaginally.

It’s looking more and more like I’m going to end up with no choice.

Fingers crossed that 1.  The baby turns and 2.  The previa resolves.  I have another ultrasound to check in three weeks.


March 1, 2010

Another in what seems like a series of TMI entries… 

So, today was another sad day.  A follow-up to the umteenth ultrasound to check for retained tissue.  Two  weeks ago, they thought it was just endometrium.  No such luck it seems.  Last week, the follow-up showed that it was retained placental tissue with blood flow.  A bit more serious.  So, another round of Methergine to see if we can contract it out.  Doctor said that today would be a good follow-up to see if it worked.  Well, it seems that it didn’t.  There seems to be more tissue and now a corpus luteal cyst that wasn’t there last week.

I love that the Doctor who I met with after the scan is my “Bad News Doctor.”  He’s the one who gave me all my bad news when I was pregnant with Teagan.  He really is a nice guy though, very sweet demenor.

So, one last scan on Wednesday and if that still shows stuff, then off to the Women’s Center to have it aspirated out.  (It won’t be a D&C, it will be an aspiration, thankfully).  One full day off of work and then taking it easy afterwards.  Someone to drive me home and take care of me. (I’m not concerned about this last bit :) )

25 days ago, I wanted to avoid a medical procedure.  Today, I wish I had done it just to have this all over with. 

I’m tired of this whole process.  I want it to be over.  I want to not be broken any more. 



PS.  While waiting for the doctor after the scan, I started bleeding quite heavily.  Told the doc, and he said “good” and that we’ll see what the scan shows Wednesday.


January 17, 2010

:(  This face says it all. 

Double ear infections suck.  Fevers on babies suck.  Stong antibiotics suck.  Piglet has another double ear infection.  Poor kid.  

She got sent home from day care Thursday with a 102° F temperature.  They said that she napped for over an hour and wasn’t clapping and happy like normal.  They thought she was “off,” and took her temp.  102° F.  Stu scrambled to get to the center in time…  by state law we have just one hour from when they call to get her.  We work an hour away.  I told them one of us would be there as soon as possible.  Immediately called to the doctor’s office to see if we should bring her in, and to see if we could do so on the way home from day care.  Got a message to call back after lunch – 2:00pm.  I leave my meeting to try again, and get the same message.  Stu gets Teagan home and settled in – she’s all hot and cuddly and sleepy – and tries to call, but doesn’t get anyone.  

I leave my meeting as soon as possible to get home.  She’s never had such a high temperature.  When I get home, she’s still sleeping.  I eventually get a hold of the doctor and get her in that evening at the office in the next town.  Double ear infection.  The worst that the doctor has seen all week.  That makes me feel great.  Teagan wasn’t pulling at her ears at all, she wasn’t really “off” until Thursday morning.  She did have a cough that started late Tuesday, but it wasn’t a whooping-cough, nor did it accompany a runny nose, so we didn’t think anything of it at the time. 

So, back on antibiotics.  This time it’s Omnicef/Cefdinir.  Not quite as evil as Augmenten but pretty close.  One dose a day, thank goodness.  I asked if it was something we should have flavored and was told that normally kids are ok with it.  WRONG.  She HATES it.  Thankfully it’s a 2.5ml dose, and not too bad to force into her.  Still not fun though. 

It seems that her disease has contaminated the entire house.  Even Clio is sneezing.  I seem to have gotten the runny and fatigue part of it, while Stu has the fever and aches that Teagan must have.  She’s better now, but we’re still working off the love that she shared. 

Of course, we had to cancel our plans for the weekend – we were supposed to go to PA and play games – Talisman!  Expansion set!  Zombies – Last Night on Earth!  Well, it’ll just have to be rescheduled.  I like playing games and seeing distant friends too much.  I don’t want to get them sick :)


December 30, 2009

She’s pulling on her ears again.  It snuck up on us, I think as much as two days ago.  Even before she finished her second round of antibiotics.  Today,  not even 24 hours after her last dose, she was tugging away.  On. both. ears. <sigh> 

I’ll be calling the doctor tomorrow to see if we can get her in and have her ears checked.  I’m going to do all I can, if she does have another infection, to get her on something other than Augmentin.  She’s just getting over the torture now.  She initially balks at the vitamin D in the morning.  Once she realizes that it’s not the Augmentin, she’s fine and sucks it out of the dropper.  Just like she used to.  Same thing with the Motrin.  She used to love just about everything we gave her – vitamin D, Tylenol (both flavors), Motrin, even the Amoxicillin.

Now, she doesn’t trust us.  We are slowing wining back her trust, which is good though.

I hope her ears are ok, and this is just teething now.


PS.  She’s curling her tongue all the time now! :)


October 5, 2009


I got a call today from one of the 20 thousand doctors I saw back in the days of the clot, letting me know that he didn’t think I needed to be on shots if I were to get pregnant again.  (Also, that I probably don’t need to have any further tests done to see if Teagan has anything to worry about).  Of course, I would need to be monitored, but didn’t need to assume that I would be a two-shot a day girl from the get go.  Whew.  That’s a lovely relief.  Not that we’re getting pregnant again.  Yet.  Again.  Maybe.

I don’t know if I could handle 46 weeks of twice a day shots.  I had to start around 22 weeks or so for the bump – Teagan, and by the time I was 30 weeks along, I was so done.  Thankfully Stu helped and did a bunch of them.  Totally helped by expanding the surfaces that could bruise.  I couldn’t inject an arm by myself :)

PS.  There’s been a new addition to Things I Never Thought I Would Say

PPS. I need to remind myself to finally blog about solids and nursing…  it’s been rumbling around in my head the past few days – weeks – and I haven’t gotten to it…


August 8, 2009

Yesterday was Teagan’s three month doctor visit.  She grew 2 inches in a month and gained 2 pounds 12 ounces!  No wonder it seemed like she grew out of clothes overnight!  Her percentile is now 75th, from last month’s 20th or so.  Just look at the jump in her stats!

teagan weight 080709




The Doctor said that her growth (including her head) is proportional, and exceptional for a breast fed baby.  She’s very happy with how Teagan looks and is progressing.

She also got a shot :(  The second Hep B shot.  She turned purple as Mimi (the PA and LC) gave it to her.  She also got her second Rotovirus dose, and decidedly did NOT like the taste of that.

Afterward, I went home, got Stu and we went to the church fair for dinner and dessert – yay fried dough!  Tea was a bit unhappy at first, but after her initial outburst and fuss, became her normal happy and smiling self.  She charmed everyone that peeked into the carriage.  While I stood in the line for the burgers, she was smiling up a storm to someone else’s grandma, who wasd quite taken with her.  LOL.  Everyone seems to love her name :)

She ended up being a bit fussy and didn’t want to go to sleep, but eventually did.  We didn’t dose her with Tylenol this time, and she did ok.

All in all, a good day, with no sunburn and not too much residual pain from a shot.  And a good 8 hours of sleep was had by all!