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April 26, 2012

on April 26, 2012

So, how long does this blatant disregard and hearing loss last?  Till they’re 23?  I’m not sure how long I can handle it without going insane.  Tonight was another super-fun awesome night.  Sigh.

She was pretty good at day care.  They said she was quiet and well behaved at nap time, not disruptive like she has been.  Then a huge accident this afternoon, that she just didn’t care about.  How can pee-soaked pants be fun?

Getting home and dinner was another story.  She seemed to have left her working ears at day care.  It’s like she stopped speaking english, moved to a world of her own.  She ran off, didn’t eat, cried when we prodded her along, threw food at her sister.  The food throwing actually got her sent to bed.  Without books.

We had been going to celebrate her good behavior at day care.  With light box time and a candy cane and dancing.  But instead, we had impertinence, crying and just a little bit of screaming.  I know she’s learning about consequences, but really?  I know when she’s tired, she’s not always in control, but that’s not an excuse.

Sigh.  I wish my baby girl could learn this lesson quickly.  She can be so fun when we’re not yelling at her.

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19 responses to “April 26, 2012

  1. Wendy says:

    Wendy B* S* commented on your post.

    Wendy wrote: “Hang in there. She’s challenging and testing her boundaries. I have a dog book that says good dogs do bad things because bad attention is better than no attention. I think maybe kids do that too. Maybe she needs a few minutes with just you when you get home?

    And if that doesn’t work remember – you are the wall. The wall is solid. Nothing gets through the wall. This was my mantra when Ella was challenging. I may have repeated it out loud. Several times. One day she responded by screaming “You are NOT the wall! You are mommy!” :)”

    • lisasff says:

      We do try to give her attention. Lots of it. Praise and applause when she has a good potty day, a good listening ears day. When she makes good choices. Maybe we do need to split up after day care, giving her some focused one on one attention, and not the 75% of the attention.

      I keep thinking that I’m a rock. I am an island. And have Simon & Garfunkel bring my blood pressure down. Sometimes it works.

      I think sometimes it’s a bit shocking, as she was a pretty good kid up until now. Yeah, she was a little enthusiastic, but generally not bad.

      It does end though, yeah?

  2. Colleen says:

    Colleen D* G* commented on your post.

    Colleen wrote: “Wendy.. too funny.. You are NOT the wall!! You are mommy! that is great.. I feel I am the wall too.. and Lisa it is hard.. staying consistent is key.. keeping doing what you are doing.. you are the Mom and you are the boss.. she will get that.. and she will still push and push and push.. and you are the WALL.. if toys have to disappear.. let them disappear.. Sending you WALL energy.. YOU will get through it.. Mine is almost 6 and still the listening is lacking.. “Howard B Wigglebottom doesn’t listen” is a great book.. and you can always put your daughters name in place of Howards in the book.. she will see him do silly things and get hurt.. until he starts to listen.. then his life turns around.. never to early to start sharing this.. Good Luck!”

    • lisasff says:

      Colleen, We have done the toy time-out. Still do, actually. We’re actually removing rewards now. No playground time if you have an accident. I’m not sure if that’s good, because she needs to run some of her energy off. But that’s how we started with this new round of bad behavior. Stu is going to get the book. Thanks for the suggestion! Books always seem to wiggle (he he he) into her brain, and become teaching points. Bits that she can remember and relate to.

      • Colleen says:

        Colleen wrote: “Lisa.. I do hope the book helps.. they do have to learn by their mistakes.. and if loosing things or not having time for fun.. I completely understand the need for her to burn off some energy.. and honestly they don’t really give a hoot about loosing a toy.. but when they are looking for it one day.. We take away the Polly Pockets and Barbies when miss doesn’t behave.. and I we take a way the food treat.. if there is a treat to be had and the behavior or listening isn’t what it should be then.. the treat isn’t had.. children do not learn by always giving in.. unfortunately.. stay strong.. I haven’t yet seen the end.. and she is almost 6.. and I didn’t add more children.. but we did move when she was 3 going on 4.. she will do it.. and so will mine..”

        • lisasff says:

          Yeah, I hope it does too.

          We’re also working on her keeping toys out of her mouth. Tonight, she kept putting a bath toy in her mouth. We’d tell her to take it out. It got put in time out during dinner, like all her toys do. She’s not allowed toys while she eats. When I gave it back to her, I told her that I didn’t want to see it in her mouth, and I would take it away if she did. She unconsciously put it in her mouth. I caught her, and said that I knew she didn’t mean it, and to not do it again. It snuck up again, and we took it away. Of course, she got upset, and cried, but she got distracted and quieted down.

          She was better tonight, her melty bits due mostly, I think, to being super tired from a week of day care with no naps.

          • Colleen says:

            Colleen wrote: “How old is she now??”

            • lisasff says:

              She’ll be three in two weeks. Ack!

              • Colleen says:

                Colleen wrote: “I thought she was already 3.. I think soon things should STOP going in her mouth.. for sure.. I feel your pain with that.. everything in their time.. which isn’t easy.. I think so much that it is so much harder for us as we get older to raise children.. because we want them to get it and do it NOW.. (at least I do.. ) and then I do have to stop and think.. she is 40 years younger then me.. she doesn’t know as much as me.. and that helps.. to a degree..”

                • lisasff says:

                  Yeah, I have to keep reminding myself that she doesn’t know some things yet. Though others, she should remember from us telling her 20,000 times already :)

  3. Kris A says:

    Hang in there!!! She may be looking for attention; Ashlin is now a moving, breathing human being who takes your attention, is touching her stuff, including her mommy and daddy. The accidents are a total control issue..she can control that when she wants to. She is much better potty trained than mine were at 3. They would both be fine at preschool and then refuse to go for me. Stay firm…since she wants attention, putting her away from you might work. We used the toy room..they could go in there and tantrum all they wanted but couldn’t get out until there were done. It made the tantrums worthless with no audience.

    • lisasff says:

      Yeah, maybe. The behavior or the regression could be linked to attention. We tried staying as up-beat as possible tonight… Gave her lots of attention and interaction outside looking for bugs before dinner and during dinner. She did pretty well, although did have an accident at day care. She did meltdown a little bit, but that’s sort of normal for her by Friday, after not napping all week.

      I did tell her that we could go flower shopping if she’s good tomorrow, and that she can help me with the flower bed, if she’s good.

      We’ve done a quick time-out on her booster chair in the kitchen, facing outside, or the wall. Away from the TV room, and where all the fun is. She does not like it, and does quiet down a little bit. We may move them to the play room, but that hasn’t been as convenient as your toy room :)

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