What to muse about today?

July 27, 2011

on July 27, 2011

This was my daughter tonight

Today, I came close to hating my daughter.  To wanting nothing to do with her.  I feel horrible saying that, but it was true.  For an hour and a half.

As you know, she doesn’t nap often at day care, especially since she moved up to the bigger toddler room.  Well, she’s been hanging out in the two’s room, so, the napless days continue.  She comes home very, very tired.  She is not a person you want to be around when she’s very, very tired.  I did not want to be around her at all tonight.

Stu was working late so I went to pick her up from day care.  One of the teachers from the infant room mentioned that she seemed very tired, so I said that she doesn’t nap any more now that she’s in the older rooms.  That she needs the nap.  Today, she did not nap.

She wanted to walk to the car.  That’s fine, no issues there.  She then doesn’t want to go home.  She wants to go to the store.  I forgot my wallet, and we didn’t need anything.  No store.  No milk in the car either.  Instead of home or the store, she wants to go “right dere!”  Dere is some house on the way home.  We can’t go “dere!”

She doesn’t want to walk, doesn’t want to swing, doesn’t want to do Art on the sidewalk.  Doesn’t want to dance, doesn’t want to sing. <sigh>  She’s now crying all through all the “No! No x” replies.  Well, dada should be home by now, I say, hoping that is the right distraction this time.  Nope.  “No, no dada!  Waaaaahhhhhhh.”  “You don’t want to see dada?  He loves you.”  “No love dada.  No love home.” Oh, kid, that hurts, even though I know you don’t mean it.  “No love you!”  I ignore that and try handing her the few cheerios in the snack cup on the floor of the car.  I have no idea how long they’ve been there.

I try the “winky winky woooooo!!” that Stu uses to distract her.  Doesn’t work.  She does the “no winky woo, no crying” reply but still cries.  Then there’s the “no singing mama.”  No.  No.  No.  No.  Wahhhh!  Frustrating kid!

As we pull into the driveway, I remember that it’s been a while since we tried the trike, so I suggest it to her.  She doesn’t hear me the first time, she’s crying too much.  Second time, she cheers right up.  “Yeah!”  Woo woo!  Best. Idea. Ever. Mama!  I get Ashlin out of the car, put her under the cherry tree, and go get the bike.  Teagan, during this, has walked down the driveway and past the mailbox.  Alone.  Great.  I call and she comes back.

Well, it turns into a very bad idea.  Teagan wants to ride in the road.  No, sweetie, you can’t ride in the road.  Sidewalk.  We live on a hilly corner.  The sidewalks are not good in front of the house.  So, we go down the hill a little.  Ashlin is still in the front yard under the tree.  “Lets go back to the house now” I suggest.  Just to check on your sister.  Ok.  That works.  Then back down the hill, through the sprinkler which was bad.  She got very unhappy with getting wet, getting the bike wet.  Sorry hon, you rode through the sprinkler, what did you think would happen as the water gets pushed out?

Again, we have to go back to check on Ashlin.  I feel very nervous leaving her in the yard unsupervised.  Just sitting in her car seat.  We go around the car a few times.  Fun.  Then, I tell Teagan that bike riding is over and put the bike back in the garage.  Of course, I put it in the wrong place.  We’ll move it later, I suggest.  No, not good enough.  We move it now, and then close the door.  She’s hysterical again crying because she changed her mind on where the bike should be and the door is closed.  She runs to one side of the yard screaming and crying.  Then the other, down the hill.  Screaming.  I have to go pick her up and carry her.  “No uppy!  NO UPPY!”  Sweetheart, you aren’t listening to mama and coming in the house.

Once we’re inside, all three of us, it doesn’t get better.  Although there isn’t anyone else watching now.  I’m sure the neighbors heard and think I’m the worst mother ever, and beat my kid.  She’s still sobbing hysterically, red faced, snot running down, sweat from the exertions.  Screaming.  Oh, so pretty.

Teagan does not want to be in her chair, she doesn’t want to eat any of the 15 suggestions I give her.  I end up taking the tray off the chair and putting her in it.  She’s having trouble breathing now, she’s crying so hard.  All red faced, hiccupping. “No-oooo-oooo boohhh-boohhh-bies. No-ooh ceh-ral.  No-oh chi-ken.”  I get out some string cheese, though she doesn’t want it.  Put in on the table.  Go get some water, she doesn’t want that, so on the table next to the cheese.  She decides she wants the cheese.   Then she wants the water, then the cereal.  Asks for Olivia while sobbing still.  Hey!  I can do that.  We taped three episodes just this afternoon.

Slowly, she starts calming down.  When she asks for “down,” she adds the “please mama” like the good girl she usually is.  She asks for uppy and sitting on my lap is ok while watching Olivia.  She goes in for a hug.  Then gets upset because I’m holding the bowl of cereal, and starts all over again.  Once again, after a few minutes, she slowly ramps down to the occasional sob, and requests a hug.

Stu comes in after about an hour of her lovely antics.  She’s pretty calm by then,  I have give Stu a very abbreviated version of my evening.  He hands me a beer and picks up the piglet.  Teagan starts freaking out again as she realizes that it’s bed time.   But this time, Stu takes the firing line, and he slowly calms her back down, reads books and gets her to bed.

Ten minutes after he goes up with her, I start de-stressing.  Feeling better.  Realizing how badly her antics got to me, even though I stayed calm almost the entire time she pushed and screamed.  I know full well that she only acted so badly because she was so over tired.  It doesn’t make it easier though.

She didn’t peep once put into bed.


12 responses to “July 27, 2011

  1. Been there, done that. I think every parent goes through that at some stage. You’re doing fine, my friend.

    • lisasff says:

      Thanks! Some days it doesn’t feel that way. This morning though, Teagan woke up the sweetest thing – all hugs and kisses and “I you!” Amazing what 12 hours sleep does for this piglet.

      How are your two treating you? Hopefully, good!

      • Sam just gave Tiff’s BlackBerry a bath…thank goodness for replacement insurance!!

        Other than that, yeah, life’s pretty good, kid-wise.

        • lisasff says:

          Tee hee hee! Teagan used to love taking our phones and my iPod. We must have instilled some fear of the gods into her, she always gives them right to us. She’s getting better about the remote, but if she wants Yo Gabba Gabba or Oilvia, she gives it right to us. LOL

          Good to hear that all is going well… I miss the updates Tiffany, and you occasionally, made.

          Sent from my iPad

  2. lisasff says:

    Colleen D* G* commented on your post.

    Colleen wrote: “these days aren’t easy Lisa.. I know exactly how you feel.. tomorrow you will not even remember really.. once that sweet little girl comes back.. we do it here.. all too often.. and mine is 5 and WOW.. days are LONG..”


    Great. Overtired kid on top of pushing limits? I just may go crazy!

    Today she was all sweetness and light.

    She’s going to make me crazy, I’m sure of it.

    • lisasff says:

      Colleen wrote: “I think I am already crazy.. it isn’t an easy road.. while I love her to pieces.. I am very glad that there is one little child.. whoof I would be so in trouble if I decided to add another.. I might be bald and living the psycho ward.. talking to myself.. (I mean I do talk to myself.. but.. ) it is more like talking myself off the MACY edge.. a good thing she is cute.. and has reddish hair like me.. so I can completely relate that she is mine.. I must have driven my MOM crazy with my older sister and younger brother.. One day at a time Momma..”

      “YOU are doing a great job..”


      Colleen: Thanks, it does help having updates and encouragement from those that have gone before me. Yesterday did make me question why we have two, though I do love the new one to bits. And so far, we’ve lucked out with another sweet, and easy!, little baby.

      And what’s wrong with talking to yourself? You get in the habit with the little ones before they can talk back, then when they can talk, they just ignore you.

      At least you have the relief that Macy looks like you… Teagan? Well, she’s paler than the untanned parts of me… and BLONDE? I’d question it if I hadn’t seen her come out! LOL!

      And I remember your brother, though not your sister so much. I’m SURE you did! LOL!

  3. lisasff says:

    Annemieke J* commented on your post.

    Annemieke wrote: “Awww, rough going for both of you! Bet she is sleeping like a baby now :)”


    Annemieke: She did sleep all night. Around 6am she woke up crying for dada, but settled back for another hour and a half. Today, she was the sweetest thing, like yesterday evening never happened.

  4. lisasff says:

    Nina commented on your post.

    Nina wrote: “http://www.facebook.com/l/fAQCMM0sT/voices.washingtonpost.com/onbalance/2006/09/surviving_the_arsenic_hours.html”

    “The arsenic hour”. It sucks.”


    Nina: Totally. Thankfully, we don’t get it every night, just the over tired nights so far.

    I wonder if they nicknamed it Arsenic Hours because you either want to give the arsenic to your kid or take it yourself! LOL!

    • lisasff says:

      Nina wrote: “Lisa- I was wondering the same thing. For whom is the arsenic intended. I guess either way works.Well, it does end when they get about…..oh,lets not discuss that part. You’ll be driven crazy,no doubt. But well,crazy is kind of fun I guess.Hehehe”


      heh!! There’s an end? When’s the end?!?!?!?! I have a feeling I’m not going to make it out sane. Not that I am now, I guess….

      • lisasff says:

        Nina wrote: “Give it 18 years or so.”

        “NO YOU ARENT GOING TO MAKE IT OUT SANE. NONE OF US ARE. But, at least you’ll be in good company with the rest of us who arent sane,”


        That’s assuming you go into it sane? 18 years? Great.

        Nice to know there’s good company!

        • lisasff says:

          Nina wrote: “Yes.18 years. But the thing about being insane is that it makes it so much easier to tolerate. Who can face reality without a wee bit of madness to shield them? Oh, I do not envy you. I remember when mine stopped crying EVERY SINGLE MORNING before school. I was so happy. Now if we can get to the age where there is no post-school/work chaos.”


          Teagan is usually good in the mornings at drop off, though the past two days she’s gone unnaturally quiet. Very unlike her. We’ll be starting the crying soon enough with Ashlin, I’m sure.

          I chatted with one of the teachers today at day care about her napping “issue.” Not too much insight there, other than it’s super exciting there, and there’s always something going on that’s more interesting than napping.

          Eventually, she’ll nap again.

          Untill then, I guess it’s cheerios and early bed time, followed by beer and wine.

      • lisasff says:

        Colleen D* G* commented on your post.

        Colleen wrote: “Make out sane… hummm.. I am thinking not either..”


        Thanks for the vote of confidence! LOL!

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