What to muse about today?

July 27, 2011 ~ This One


This one, on the other hand, was good. She slept, was mostly quiet, and didn’t cry for an hour tonight. She only cried when her arm got stuck under her belly after rolling over. Oh, and maybe a little bit when she was tired. From sticking her tongue out all day, giggling, and sitting up all big and everything in her bumbo.


July 27, 2011

This was my daughter tonight

Today, I came close to hating my daughter.  To wanting nothing to do with her.  I feel horrible saying that, but it was true.  For an hour and a half.

As you know, she doesn’t nap often at day care, especially since she moved up to the bigger toddler room.  Well, she’s been hanging out in the two’s room, so, the napless days continue.  She comes home very, very tired.  She is not a person you want to be around when she’s very, very tired.  I did not want to be around her at all tonight.

Stu was working late so I went to pick her up from day care.  One of the teachers from the infant room mentioned that she seemed very tired, so I said that she doesn’t nap any more now that she’s in the older rooms.  That she needs the nap.  Today, she did not nap.

She wanted to walk to the car.  That’s fine, no issues there.  She then doesn’t want to go home.  She wants to go to the store.  I forgot my wallet, and we didn’t need anything.  No store.  No milk in the car either.  Instead of home or the store, she wants to go “right dere!”  Dere is some house on the way home.  We can’t go “dere!”

She doesn’t want to walk, doesn’t want to swing, doesn’t want to do Art on the sidewalk.  Doesn’t want to dance, doesn’t want to sing. <sigh>  She’s now crying all through all the “No! No x” replies.  Well, dada should be home by now, I say, hoping that is the right distraction this time.  Nope.  “No, no dada!  Waaaaahhhhhhh.”  “You don’t want to see dada?  He loves you.”  “No love dada.  No love home.” Oh, kid, that hurts, even though I know you don’t mean it.  “No love you!”  I ignore that and try handing her the few cheerios in the snack cup on the floor of the car.  I have no idea how long they’ve been there.

I try the “winky winky woooooo!!” that Stu uses to distract her.  Doesn’t work.  She does the “no winky woo, no crying” reply but still cries.  Then there’s the “no singing mama.”  No.  No.  No.  No.  Wahhhh!  Frustrating kid!

As we pull into the driveway, I remember that it’s been a while since we tried the trike, so I suggest it to her.  She doesn’t hear me the first time, she’s crying too much.  Second time, she cheers right up.  “Yeah!”  Woo woo!  Best. Idea. Ever. Mama!  I get Ashlin out of the car, put her under the cherry tree, and go get the bike.  Teagan, during this, has walked down the driveway and past the mailbox.  Alone.  Great.  I call and she comes back.

Well, it turns into a very bad idea.  Teagan wants to ride in the road.  No, sweetie, you can’t ride in the road.  Sidewalk.  We live on a hilly corner.  The sidewalks are not good in front of the house.  So, we go down the hill a little.  Ashlin is still in the front yard under the tree.  “Lets go back to the house now” I suggest.  Just to check on your sister.  Ok.  That works.  Then back down the hill, through the sprinkler which was bad.  She got very unhappy with getting wet, getting the bike wet.  Sorry hon, you rode through the sprinkler, what did you think would happen as the water gets pushed out?

Again, we have to go back to check on Ashlin.  I feel very nervous leaving her in the yard unsupervised.  Just sitting in her car seat.  We go around the car a few times.  Fun.  Then, I tell Teagan that bike riding is over and put the bike back in the garage.  Of course, I put it in the wrong place.  We’ll move it later, I suggest.  No, not good enough.  We move it now, and then close the door.  She’s hysterical again crying because she changed her mind on where the bike should be and the door is closed.  She runs to one side of the yard screaming and crying.  Then the other, down the hill.  Screaming.  I have to go pick her up and carry her.  “No uppy!  NO UPPY!”  Sweetheart, you aren’t listening to mama and coming in the house.

Once we’re inside, all three of us, it doesn’t get better.  Although there isn’t anyone else watching now.  I’m sure the neighbors heard and think I’m the worst mother ever, and beat my kid.  She’s still sobbing hysterically, red faced, snot running down, sweat from the exertions.  Screaming.  Oh, so pretty.

Teagan does not want to be in her chair, she doesn’t want to eat any of the 15 suggestions I give her.  I end up taking the tray off the chair and putting her in it.  She’s having trouble breathing now, she’s crying so hard.  All red faced, hiccupping. “No-oooo-oooo boohhh-boohhh-bies. No-ooh ceh-ral.  No-oh chi-ken.”  I get out some string cheese, though she doesn’t want it.  Put in on the table.  Go get some water, she doesn’t want that, so on the table next to the cheese.  She decides she wants the cheese.   Then she wants the water, then the cereal.  Asks for Olivia while sobbing still.  Hey!  I can do that.  We taped three episodes just this afternoon.

Slowly, she starts calming down.  When she asks for “down,” she adds the “please mama” like the good girl she usually is.  She asks for uppy and sitting on my lap is ok while watching Olivia.  She goes in for a hug.  Then gets upset because I’m holding the bowl of cereal, and starts all over again.  Once again, after a few minutes, she slowly ramps down to the occasional sob, and requests a hug.

Stu comes in after about an hour of her lovely antics.  She’s pretty calm by then,  I have give Stu a very abbreviated version of my evening.  He hands me a beer and picks up the piglet.  Teagan starts freaking out again as she realizes that it’s bed time.   But this time, Stu takes the firing line, and he slowly calms her back down, reads books and gets her to bed.

Ten minutes after he goes up with her, I start de-stressing.  Feeling better.  Realizing how badly her antics got to me, even though I stayed calm almost the entire time she pushed and screamed.  I know full well that she only acted so badly because she was so over tired.  It doesn’t make it easier though.

She didn’t peep once put into bed.