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September 12, 2011 ~ Day Care Update, Part II

on September 12, 2011

I'm not a problem

Today was Ashlin’s second day in day care.  It was better and worse than her first.  She napped, and played and smiled.  She, however, did not take a bottle.  Not really.

I got a call around noon today, asking what we did to get her to take a bottle.  Um…  breastfeed her?  I’m such a wise-ass in my brain.  We were bad over the weekend, and didn’t work on it.  Why make her cry if we don’t need to?  Well, we probably do need to, as she does need to eat during the day.  But it’s just so much easier, much less frustrating for her and for us, to just breastfeed her.  Sigh.  Mom fail.

Instead, I say that although we try, we never have been very successful.  I do mention that I sent in two types of nipples, one regular medela one and one that looks like her pacifier nipple.  I had told this to the morning instructor, and asked that she let me know which worked best, and that I could send all the bottles in with that nipple.  I guess that message hadn’t been relayed.

By noon she had drunk only 30ml – 1oz – since 6:30.  Not really enough.  She’d be cranky when they tried to feed her, but when the stopped, she’d be all smiles.  She played, she giggled, she napped.

By 4:30, she had taken a total of 60ml – 2oz.

Stu and I left early to get her – so I could nurse her.  The afternoon instructor said that she had done better with the pacifier type nipple, although she only took 30ml.  I told her I’d try a bottle at home tomorrow, and that I’d send in bottles with that nipple from now on.

I hope this stubborn baby changes her mind about bottles.  Soon.

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17 responses to “September 12, 2011 ~ Day Care Update, Part II

  1. Kris A says:

    If she continues being so stubborn you may need to as the dr. how much liquid does she need to stay hydrated. Poor little girl!!

    • lisasff says:

      Yeah. Leaving work early isn’t going to be an option for too much longer… though maybe solids will help… Yesterday she ended up nursing about 5 minutes longer than she normally does. Making up for lost nurishment/hydration, I guess.

      She took about 5ml of breast milk out of a sippy cup from me today. And another 5ml from a bottle with a “medela” nipple. I couldn’t get her to take anything from the nipple that was like her pacifier.

      We’ll see how she does tomorrow – Stu and I may take two cars – and see if day care does better with bottles or the sippy. I can get more of whatever seems to work best.

  2. lisasff says:

    Ana Ri commented on your post.

    Ana said: “Those were some of the same nipples we tried. He loves his pacifier and I figured that would be the one to work. Not at all. If you have any bottles with smaller nipples, I’d give those a try. The one that worked with Lane looks like a baby doll’s bottle nipple. Hugs!!! I wish I had other suggestions–it took us from June until a couple weeks ago, so I’m hoping Ashlyn will transition much quicker. Don’t beat yourself up over the bf only this weekend. We were consistent with the bottle and he still couldn’t figure it out. It might just take the right delivery method. Can you try a small cup, straw, or put the frozen breastmilk in a mesh feeder to get some more in her while she adjusts?”

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    I actually did try a soft-spout sippy today with 30ml of breast milk. She seemed ok with it, maybe because it was a new and exciting thing to shove in her mouth. She gnawed a bit and took about 5ml. I tried a bottle with the medela nipple again, and got her to take an additional 5ml. She would not talk anything from me with the pacifier type nipple.

    So, tomorrow, she’s going in with all three – Medela, pacifier nipple and then that one sippy cup I have with a soft spout. If one seems to work better, I’ll get more. If nothing seems better than the other day, I’ll get a new bottle, probably that Gerber one you suggested.

    I may also call the doctor to see how little hydration she can tolerate in a 9 hour period.

    We may also start solids earlier than planned, to try to get more nutrition and hydration into her. She’s not really ready yet, she’s only started watching us eat like it could be interesting. She can sit well in the bumbo, so no worries about choking due to needing to feed her reclined.

  3. lisasff says:

    Christie W* T* commented on your post.

    Christie said: “Hugs! I hope Ashlin works it out soon – for your sanity and for her own good. If you run out of ideas, perhaps a call into an occupational therapist that specializes in bottle feeding might help. They may be able to give you ideas/suggestions on how to help her. Sounds like she’s doing really good at daycare other than the feedings – that’s a great sign :)”

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Christie, Thanks! I hope we get it figured out soon, too. Calling an OT is a great idea, I wouldn’t have thought of that. We’ll definitely try that if we can’t figure out a solution with bottles or sippy cups.

    It is nice that she does seem to be adjusting in other ways – napping, playing – generally being a happy girl.

    • lisasff says:

      Ana Ri wrote: “Christie Wenszell Tipton I never even thought of an OT, but you’re right–that would be a good resource!”

      • lisasff says:

        Christie W* T* wrote: “We went to an OT and some other therapist when nobody could figure out Mya was posterior tongue-tie. I was suprised that they were sending us there for the breastfeeding pai. While they didn’t help us with BF, they did give us tips on better bottle feeding – even though she wasn’t having any issues.”

        ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

        Christie, shame they coudln’t help with the tongue tie and the BF pain. I wonder how you can be a “better bottle feeder,” well, once you actually take a bottle.

  4. lisasff says:

    Kelly B* M* commented on your post.

    Kelly said: “I wish I had an answer for you…Desmond still isn’t keen on the bottle since we are so bad at practicing with him. Luckily we don’t do daycare. However, I can’t leave him for more than a couple of hours either! When we did get him to take a bottle, we used the playtex latex fast flow nipple. Good luck and keep at it!

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Kelly, Thanks! It’s not easy, is it? Thanks for the bottle/nipple suggestion. We may need to try it!

  5. lisasff says:

    Anna M* K* commented on your post.

    Anna said: “Lisa, I’m not sure if you’ve followed my drama with Abbey, but we’ve been going through the exact same thing for 6 weeks now. Abbey 100% refuses to take a bottle while I’m at work. We’ve tried EVERYTHING–and then we tried some more things! She *occasionally* will choke down an ounce or two from a medicine dropper, but she doesn’t like it. She just chooses not to take a bottle. And that’s the key word here—CHOOSES. She is offered milk several times a day and she won’t take it. I stressed and stressed for about two weeks, and then I had to give up. I couldn’t do anything about it, because I couldn’t force her to suck on a bottle. If she wanted to wait for me to eat, then so be it. The sitter says she is perfectly happy, plays all day, and takes good naps while I’m gone.

    I nurse her around 6:30 am, and the not again until 4:30 pm. In the past 6 weeks, she has gained the appropriate amount of weight, and has continued to have normal diapers. If these weren’t the case, then I would have been much more concerned and we might have had to come up with more creative options. She also has been reverse-cycling since about a week after I went back to work. She now nurses at around 4:30pm, 6pm, then she will cluster feed from about 7:30pm until 10pm, then again at 2am and 6am.

    I wouldn’t worry about Ashlin not having any hydration for 9 hours. Think about babies who STTN for 10-12 hours. They are fine! Now, if she isn’t making up for the calories when she’s with you, then there may be cause for concern.

    I also absolutely refused to withhold nursing when I was with her. Many people gave me the “advice” that I shouldn’t nurse her until she gave in and took the bottle. Every part of my mama gut told me that was wrong. I am her source of comfort, security and nutrition. I would not do that just to get her to take a bottle. Again, this was MY situation. Yours could be different!

    I’m sorry for the novel, but as you can see, this has been my reality for the past 6 weeks. My first DD never had one ounce of issue taking a bottle, so this had me completely blindsided and it was had to finally let go and let Abbey decide how she wanted to be fed. It is very “inconvenient” as DH and I can’t really go out for date nights, I’m pretty much tied to the house after work at all times, but everything is temporary, and this too, shall pass.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

    Anna, I do vaguely remember that you were having issues bottle feeding Abbey, but though they had resolved.

    And thank you for this post. I was getting caught up in the drama, and had forgotten about babies STTN. Ashlin does go 5-6 hours without nursing at night. And although I can get her to take medicine through a dropper, so probably could do the same with breast milk, day care won’t feed her this way. I’m pretty sure anyway, they’re weird about breast milk as it is. I need to remind them that they don’t need to throw it away after an hour. But that’s a different issue.

    The doctor at her 4 month visit seemed concerned about her not taking a bottle all day. Day care seems upset that she doesn’t take a bottle all day. Everyone seems concerned that she’s not taking bottles. I think it’s all getting to me. Ashlin has gotten better – napping and playing – her second day. She was desperate to nurse when we picked her up, and maybe that’s also adding to the stress to ensure she does take a bottle.

    I can try to get out earlier to nurse her, so she doesn’t need to go more than 8 hours without a feed, and then finish my work day from home. She’s also going to be getting solids soon enough, (not quite yet!), and that will help too. So, rationally, we’re really only looking at something like three weeks, of which she may not be in day care full time anyway.

    whew. I feel a bit better.

    • lisasff says:

      Ana Ri said: “Sounds like you have a good plan, Lisa. I was going to add that the only reason I kept pushing it with Lane is because he did stop gaining weight and started to lose weight. When I talked to the doctor, he wasn’t concerned about Lane not taking the bottle at daycare, as long as he was still gaining about 3.5 oz a week, give or take an oz. Just wanted to let you know that I totally understand how you are feeling and what you are going through. I didn’t want to start solids at all–I wasn’t ready for it. Luckily, Lane was. But for the first month, I only did rice cereal with tons of breastmilk and that’s how we got the milk in Lane during the day.
      Anna, I got the same advice as you did from many people and it just ticked me off, (no offense to anyone who has withheld nursing, but I knew it wasn’t going to help Lane.) Everyone kept telling me that Lane was being stubborn. In his case, he truly couldn’t figure his way around the nipples we tried, psychologically or physically, I’m not sure which. But there was no way I was going to quit nursing him to force him to bottle feed, especially when I was convinced he just couldn’t figure it out. It literally took us from June until 2 weeks ago to get Lane to take the bottle–we tried one every day.

      ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

      No one suggested that I withhold nursing though all this, so that’s one good thing. I *think* my peanut is gaining. She’s definitely not losing. I did notice Monday that her soft spot was a bit sunken at first, but by bedtime or that first night nursing, was better.

      I’ll weigh her today and see if she’s still gaining. She hasn’t been weighed since her 4 month visit.

      And I know Lane wasn’t being stubborn, though I think mine may be :|

      • lisasff says:

        Ana Ri said: “Sounds like a good plan, Lisa! 3.5oz. a week is what my doctor wanted to see as again. He said you could give or take an oz. at times. But mostly, he didn’t want to see the weight stagnate.”

        ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

        3.5oz? That doesn’t seem like a lot, could even be one morning dirty and wet diaper… I’ll be weighing her every two days or so, to make sure she doesn’t lose.

        Thanks ladies! For all the support, suggestions and help!!

        • lisasff says:

          Christie said: “My LC told me that from 0-6 months babies should gain somewhere around 0.5 – 0.75 oz a day; which comes to around 3.5 – 5.25 oz per week. Girls tend to be on the lower end of that (0.5 oz/day) and boys on the higher end (0.75 oz/day). I guess around 6 months their weight gain slows down quite a bit.”

    • lisasff says:

      Christie W* T* said: “Lisa, I’m glad that she seems to be gaining regardins of her daytime feeding preferences. While I’m sure reverse cycling can be quite difficult for mothers, I don’t think there are many other options. Babies seem to know whats best for themselves.”

      ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

      I’m hoping she’s actually gaining. She is for sure not loosing. After talking with you ladies, I do feel better. Everyone seemed to be panicking and worried. I still am a bit, to be fair. But I feel that I’m not hurting her, or at least, not causing serious harm. I will suggest to them, if they do get very upset, that they syringe feed her. She takes her vitamins with no issue via syringe to the inside cheek, so why wouldn’t she take breast milk that way?

      She’s going into day care today with 4 1oz bottles and a sippy cup with an additional ounce. It kills me that they throw out the breast milk after an hour or so. Once/if she starts eating better, I’ll send bigger bottles.

    • lisasff says:

      Christie W* T* said: “Mya’s tongue-tie (TT) was something that nobody at my pedi’s office could figure out. She wans’t the classic (TT) and they kept telling me there was nothing to clip and that I was just overly sensitive and would get used to it soon. I knew they were wrong and kept pushing until I broke down one day and they sent me to an OT and a PT that specialized in bottle feeding and nursing. They were no help w/ nursing as they said she appears to have the perfect latch. Thankfully I found a pediatric dentist that specializes in TT and correcting it with lazer sergery. He sent over info to my pedi’s to help educate them on her rare form of TT. The OT and PT helped with bottle feeding as Mya was a bit messy at taking the bottle. We learned that nipples with a wider base worked better for her and that positioning her in a upright manner allowed any air she would take in from not getting a good grip around the nipple would come out her nose. It worked for us.”

      ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

      Wow. Intersting. Laser surgery? I’m so glad it’s better!

    • lisasff says:

      Anna said: “Sounds like you have a good plan worked out! Hopefully they will agree to syringe feed her. I think it’s normal for people to initially freak out when a baby doesn’t eat all day. (Heck, my own mother is still freaking out about it. Sigh). But many people also don’t understand the complexities of a BF relationship! KUP on her day!”

      ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

      Thanks! I haven’t gotten a phone call yet. So, we’ll see. If they continue to be upset, I will suggest the syringe option, though I’m sure they won’t be very welcome to that. I do hope the sippy cup works, that would probably be the best option all around.

      I did weigh her this morning and she was about 14.6 lbs, up about 2 lbs from her 4 month visit (she’s now 5.5 months). I know there won’t be a drop off yet, she’s only been in day care 3 days now… but it’s going to be something I keep track of.

  6. [...] September 12, 2011 ~ Day Care Update, Part II (lisasff.wordpress.com) [...]

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